Familia

Sometimes I amaze myself at the dorky stuff I want to watch on TV. Tonight I couldn't tear myself away from back to back episodes of the History Detectives. This after watching back to back episodes of CSI. Ah the intellectual stimulus of CSI and Jorja Fox. Of course the real stimulus is that I can never figure out who did it.

These are the times when I just cannot read one more news story, one more bit of bad news and cannot take in one more analysis of anything worldly. Of course, this is pure, unadulterated privilege. I have the option of opting out. I am not living in a war zone, I don't have to make life or death decisions every day and I am not running for office. My life is relatively sane, I will be celebrating 20 years sober in a couple of weeks, I live in a nice house in a nice 'hood near my family. So why pay attention to the world outside of this nice little bubble? Damned if I know.

I do know I want to go back to work, want to laugh more, read less heavy stuff and find a way to enjoy life just a little bit more. But I don't think paying less attention to the world outside the bubble necessarily provides that opportunity to hide out. In fact, as a citizen of the world, I feel it is our responsibility to pay attention and be vocal about our rights and correct the wrongs.

There are all these children in the world now we are failing with our silence.

Last night at my cousin's house, we had a family gathering that red lined the fun meter. A good chunk of my cousins, their kids, my aunt and uncle and friends were eating exceptional food, enjoying each other's company and just carrying on.

In this group of people, there is a cancer survivor, an adopted child, an autistic child, someone living with Alzheimer's, two who suffer from migraines and a couple who lost their child when he was 18 months old. There are world travelers, stay at home moms, Democrats, lesbians, Republicans, athletes, hockey fans and the unemployed. There are Mexicans, Irish, Lebanese, English and combinations thereof.

Last night I saw the kids in all their glory. I laughed at Clyde when he ran off into the night with three pilfered marshmallows. Hazel gave me her best look to get more potato chips. Riley gave me a big sloppy lick on the face when we were dancing to cajun music. Gage put on a show for the video camera including a shout out to "all the ladies out there." Uh yeah, he's like 8 years old.

What can I do to make the world a little bit better place than the way I found it? For Hazel and Clyde and Riley, Gage and Lane, Kyle and Kaycee, Tara, Andie, Ben, Heather and Ryan? I'm not sure yet but the one thing they will always know is that their aunt loves them all dearly. Maybe that is the only guarantee in this life I can ever give.

So I promise, you have my complete, unconditional love from now until always.