The face in the tortilla

The bulk of my day was spent going to a funeral and the gathering afterwards. At the gathering, I sat in awe of all the Mexican women around me. Everyone knew what to do, like we had all been born with that knowledge. All the right foods were cooked, all the right expressions were made, all the long time friends were there for the family. No questions asked, we knew we needed to be there. The hugs were long and meaningful, there was more expressed in those moments than any words could ever convey. I saw all the aging in my elders but rejoiced in being able to just sit with them, enjoy our very Mexican senses of humor and eat chile verde. My God I was one happy Mexican in those moments.

There were a number of speakers at the funeral. They told some tales of the deceased. I always wonder what will happen at my funeral. Will people be sad? Will they tell hilarious tales of my pranks and sarcasm? Will they talk about me with respect, that I made a difference in their lives? Oh who knows, I won't be around. I will have found out what the other side is like. I will be reunited with those who have gone before me and enjoying whatever that side has to offer me. Hopefully I'll be taller and thinner.

Sheesh, this Halloween birthday business can sneak up, always talking about death with ease and comfort. My friend, Gary McMillin, had the same birthday, same day and same year. We were so terrible together. He was one of the few people who could say something so rude that he could shut me up.

He was one of my dear friends who died from AIDS before the drugs kept people alive so much longer. I miss him daily. But I still laugh, remembering his smile, his caring but most of all his disgusting sense of humor.

Once he looked down at me and said "You know, you're so short you could blow me without bending over."

No wonder I like hanging out with gay men, they can be so disgusting that way. Mexicans can be that way too. I am a combination of all those worlds and thankfully I have lived long enough to enjoy the effect. Not sure if everyone around appreciates the outcome but I sure do. As i saw today, life can too short to not eat tortillas.