A sign

My birthday is on Halloween. I have always had some ability to connect with the other side, you know talk to dead people. During the horrible days of the AIDS pandemic when I was sitting at the bed sides of dying friends, I knew they would be part of my army of angels to help me and guide me.

So with this current physical problem I am really struggling. I can cry easily, I am in pain, I am powerless, I am uncomfortable, restless, yada yada.

This afternoon, I was laying in bed crying. Just frustrated all to hell with my state. Then I looked at my great grandmother's picture in front of me and decided I had to do something, anything. So I got dressed. And in the process of getting dressed, I sat in front of my altar and spoke to my angels and reminded them "I was there for all of you when you were dying. I need your help. Do something to help me."

The phone rang. It was my cousin's five year old, Riley. She was so sweet, "Glo, I'm so sorry you are in a cast. But can I come over and see you? Can we bring you lunch?"

I love the answers when I ask for help, I never know which way it will come. But this one came through a precious 5 year old and am I ever glad.

This is Riley and Ruby having an afternoon love fest.

post surgery

Well I made it out of surgery yesterday. I was terrified going in to this because, you know, that going unconscious thing. I was crying all day yesterday post surgery due to the drugs. That vulnerability from the drugs just is so unexpected.

To add to that, the post-op nurse was nice but said something so ridiculous we had to laugh. Of course my sister was there to add to the laugh lines.

I have a cast on my foot, pictured here. The nurse came by to offered some words of warning: If your feet start to black or blue, come back to the hospital. Your cast could be too tight and it will make your toes fall off.

My sister then chimes in : well we'll have to go to Wendy's then.

Me: For some chili with toes.

Now that I have slept a lot, I feel almost human again. And the prize tonight for being almost human, watching Olberman with guest goddess, Rachel Maddow, subbing for Keith O.

California convention pics

On the left here (as it should be) a poster at one of the booths honoring the father of the farmworker labor movement. My beloved esposa just told me a story last night about doing a long walk with the UFW and Cesar. I didn't think I could love her anymore but, lo and behold, there was another corner of my heart filled with Jo love.










From my first Obama rally, the signs, the people, the hope.






















And what is a convention without famous politicians? Boring! So here we have the fabulous Kamala Harris the City attorney for San Francisco. Go on girl, tell me about our man Obama.







Cesar always advocated for equality for all. He understood social justice didn't mean equality for farmworkers but the gay, lesbian, Latino, transgendered , poor person who had lost hope, lost their family and lost hope they would find someone to share their life with.

But with Barack Obama as president, all of this is possible and more. The nightmare is almost over.

Si se puede, yes we can.
And we will!

Democratic convention Calif style

I spent the majority of the weekend at the California Democratic convention. Here are just a few snapshots of what I saw and heard there.

• The LGBT caucus was very well attended. Cecilia Chung of San Francisco did a great job of organizing and giving candidates a chance to speak for a nanosecond to the crowd. I didn't go in since I was working at the front desk to get everyone paid up and into the room. And I had a chair which will always be a priority. Nice to see lots of folks from around the state and the crowd was evenly divided between Obama and Hillay. What a surprise.
• The big race between Mark Leno and Carole Migden for state Senate got very wild this weekend. Well actually I believe that Migden proved that she has gone nuts. At the women's caucus on Friday night she just went crazy. She was screaming, insulting the Obama staff, saying very ugly things about them. Like calling them ugly and fat! People who were there were so shocked and it became the talk of the convention. When she entered the LGBT caucus, it w as staged to look like the queen of all was entering the room. People were in front and in back of her, carrying Migden signs on sticks so she looked like she had an entourage. I thought it was kind of gross myself.
  
• I went to my first Obama rally. Great fun and great energy. My friend from New Mexico, Raul Alvillar, is Obama's western field director. He was the MC of the rally and introduced Steve Westly, a former gubernatorial candidate. He also had on hand the new speaker of the house, Karen Bass, SF city attorney Kamala Harris. What a hottie she is! Anyway, it was wonderful to b on board with all of this.
  
• I am now officially looped in as the national Latino LGBT co-chair with Andres Duque. That will be rolled out this week. then they are hooking me up with the Latino outreach group too. I will be on the national conference calls from here on out. Yeah baby! I am so excited and hopeful. But even more important, I get to work on this campaign to change this country. The end of the nightmare is coming soon.
• Why are the Larouche people always at Democratic events? They are nuts but they sing well. I got sucked in to the their booth because they had, what I thought, was an interesting name, something Roosevelt club. So I wandered up and some guy was on a rant, just talking to hear himself. He was saying he is against abortion so I said, "Well don't have one" and walked away from those two.
  
• I really get people overload at these things. Especially at an event like this where everyone thinks they are very important. So no one looks where they are going, have no grasp of the fact they are blocking entire throughways, I don;t care who they are talking to on the phone despite how loud they talk and when I say excuse me, I really mean get the fuck out of my way.
• I skipped seeing Bill Clinton today. One of Jo's colleagues came over this afternoon after the speech and said he fell asleep during Clinton's speech. I gave my pass to my neighbor so he could take pics and see the big ma up close. He was thrilled and I was happy open the door for him.

That's it for now. When I remember more I will post more. Pictures will be up tomorrow.

Every week

Every week the Blade comes out there is a new disclosure about the DNC, and the deteriorating relationships within. When you read this and please do, remember that Donna Brazile is a lesbian. Claire Lucas has gobs of money because her grandfather or someone in her family invented the overhead projector. But she was fired for slapping someone, I think I hear the Dynasty theme playing in the background. Oh whoops, there go Krystal and Alexis flying by on their way to a slap fight in the swimming pool. And let us never forget that Dr Dean did lie to the lgbt caucus and now can't remember while his current flunkies make up some inane training that say is for people of color but are really for black folks. There is a difference folks!

And in this week's BAR, there is an article about the very genteel Carole Migden getting slapped with a $9 million suit for breaking so many election laws. But my favorite was the blog at the Chron describing the Senator in every way possible as nothing short of devil spawn. The responses targeted her hair her attitude, her New Yorkness. It wasn't pretty but I sure did laugh my ass off. I can hardly wait to see her tomorrow at the California Democratic Convention. I will be blogging here from home after my time down the street at the convention.

If I was a real Democrat, I would ride my bike.

Gone

Sister dove left this morning. No more pain and suffering. WE will bury her in the back under the St.Francis statue.

Taking in a survivor

I have a guest here. I found her in the grasp of my yorkie this afternoon in the backyard. It is a morning dove.

She has lost an eye. I thought she was dead when I got her away from Gus. But then I started petting her head and she turned her one good to me, just a little. Then she blinked. I kept talking to her and petting her, trying to figure out what to do.

After calling around to rescue places which had either closed or were not willing to take in a bird from San Jose, Jo had looked up some stuff online so I followed the directions. Put some water and sunflower seeds in the cage she was resting in, heated up the thingie in the freezer to get some heat in there and then turned off the lights in the garage.

I have checked on her a couple of times and she has gone from laying sideways in the cage to sitting as if she was nesting. She continues to let me pet her and responds (oh sure) to when I talk to her. She turns her eye to me and blinks when I visit.

Tomorrow morning I hope to give her a new lease and take her to the rescue center. Happy Easter my sister dove.

The speech

I know there has been a chingon of response to Obama's speech. But I haven't had time to watch it. That is because, as I have said over and over here, I am unemployed with no job in sight. The economy is crashing, I am a lesbian of color who is now on disability and I am struggling because life can really suck in the richest country in the world.

And as a woman of color, I have lived a lot of what my candidate is talking about. It is no surprise to me that white folks are shocked at the experiences of people of color. How many times have we heard the question, "Why are you so angry?" Because, folks, this American system of ours is racist, mysogynistic, homophobic and classist, to name a few. So what am I supposed to do as I struggle along, trying to find a way to pay the bills, deal with chronic pain and find a job. Oh wait, I am not looking for job, I am going to have surgery. Anyway, I look forward to the day when this conversation can continue and shed light for the millions of people living in the dark who think we live on a level playing field and everyone has the same chances to get ahead.

Walk in my sore little feet some time for a real shock and then tell me how well we all are doing. Maybe the light will go on.

An end to chronicity

I see sitting in a chair for long periods of time in my future. My podiatrist is going to stick tiny cameras in my right foot soon, then put me in a cast for a week and hopefully when it is all done, I will be pain free on one side. I can;t believe how horrible it is to be in chronic pain.

What does that mean in real life? I will be on crutches, I will not be able to take a big girl shower for a week, going to bathroom at night will be a big bummer and I will have to be really organized because when I sit down, I won't be able to just get up and do something easily. But I will also be able to focus more on say blogging. Read some more, watch my Netflix flix and sit in the sun and watch the flowers grow. There are worse things to do like work in the Bush White House or something.

Bush humor

Because I apparently can't make my own jokes, here is a set of stolen ones. Perfect for the subject.

The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages. You'll want to be the first to make a contribution to this great man's legacy.
The Library will include:

1. The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
2. The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you can't remember anything.
3. The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't have to even show up.
4. The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
5. The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
6. The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room (which no one has been able to find).
7. The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first tour, they make you go back for a second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth tour.
8. The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shooting gallery.
Plans also include:
9. The K-Street Project Gift Shop - where you can buy (or just steal) an election.
10. The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican senators.
11. Last, but not least, there will be an entire floor devoted to a 7/8 scale model of the President's ego.
To highlight the President's accomplishments, the museum will have an electron microscope to help you locate them.

More Obama supporters

I am happy to note that the lovely Mrs Miss Wild Thing is listed in the endorsements below.

CAMPAIGN ANNOUNCES LGBT ENDORSEMENTS
Equal rights activists from around nation announce support for Obama

CHICAGO, IL – The Obama for America campaign today announced the endorsement of LGBT activists from around the nation. The activists include state and municipal elected officials, the leadership of the AFL-CIO's Pride at Work initiative, and prominent equal rights activists from states holding upcoming primary contests.

"In order for America to make progress toward social and economic justice, we need a president who does not mock, but rather embraces bold change, and who advances the vision of the beloved community. Our movements for equality, for healthy families and excellent schools, for workers' rights and shared prosperity, for veterans' care, fairness in the courts, and a safer environment have more than a friend in Barack Obama. We have a champion equal to the challenges we face and able to lead us forward together," said Hans Johnson, President, Progressive Victory.

"The finger-pointing and polarization in politics have become a threat to our well-being as a nation. I support Barack Obama because his compassion, respect for even those who oppose him, and inclusive values can build a new kind of national unity across the many lines that have previously divided us," said Missouri State Representative Jeanette Mott Oxford.

"We're building a coalition that includes Americans with diverse ideologies from all regions of the country to bring the change we desperately need," said Senator Obama. "That's the type of coalition we'll need to build to achieve equal rights for all Americans. I'm grateful for the endorsements of these prominent activists who fight every day for the principles of equality and justice." The full list of LGBT activists announcing their support for Obama today are below:

Jeanette Mott Oxford, Missouri State Representative, District 59-St. Louis City

Wilson Cruz, Actor, Los Angeles, CA

Kevin Jennings, Founder and Executive Director, Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN)

Donna Rose, Former Board Member of the Human Rights Campaign; Former member of the Hillary Clinton for President LGBT Steering Committee; Transgender Activist

Jeremy Bishop, Executive Director, Pride at Work (AFL-CIO)

Ian Palmquist, Executive Director, Equality North Carolina; Immediate Past Chair, Equality Federation

Jo Kenny, Development Director, Pride at Work (AFL-CIO)

Stephen Glassman, Chairman, Pennsylvania Human Relations Commission

Hans Johnson, President of Progressive Victory

Craig Bowman, Former Executive Director of National Youth Advocacy Coalition

Donna Cartwright, Communications Director, Pride at Work (AFL-CIO)

Perry Nelson, Founder, Gateway Stonewall Democrats (St. Louis, MO)

Ben Turner, Co-Founder and Former Co-Chair of the Capital Region Stonewall Democrats (Harrisburg, PA)

Robert Perez, Public Relations Executive and Former WA Press Secretary for Kerry-Edwards

Judy Chambers, Co-Founder and Former Co-Chair of the Capital Region Stonewall Democrats (Harrisburg, PA)

Conrado Terrazas, Political Field Director for SEIU 1000 (CA)

Lisa Hazirjian, Visiting Professor, Carnegie Mellon University (PA)

Gregg Gallo, National Stonewall Democrats Board Member (WA)

Anita Latch, Washington State Stonewall Democrats President

Jenny Durkan, Washington John Edwards for President State Chair (2004 & 2008)

Krista Strothmann, Baltimore Chapter of Pride at Work (AFL-CIO)

John Klenert, Campaign Board of the Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund and Member of Board of Directors for DC Vote

Marti Abernathy, Transgender Advocate (Indiana)

Joe Darby, Vice President, Pride at Work (AFL-CIO), Lansing, Michigan

Randall Ellis, Former Executive Director of Lesbian/Gay Rights Lobby of Texas

Andrés Duque, LGBT activist (NY)

Gary Fitzsimmons, Dallas County District Clerk (TX)

Tim Downing, Member of Board of Directors for Human Rights Campaign (OH)

Christina Ocasio, Transgender activist; 2004 delegate to the DNC Convention (TX)

Dyshaun Muhammad, Former GLBT Caucus Chair, Young Democrats of America; Former Political Chair of Twin Cities HRC Steering Committee (MN)

Pauline Park, Chair, New York Association for Gender Rights Advocacy

Glen Maxey, Former Texas State Representative (first openly gay member)

Marti Bier, Former Field Director for PFLAG

Doug Lakey, Director of West Coast Office of Alliance for Justice; former Development Director for the Human Rights Campaign

Terry Penrod, Member of Board of Directors for Human Rights Campaign (OH)

David Peña, Jr., Executive Director, National Hispanic Business Association

John McClelland, President, Denton County Stonewall Democrats (TX)

Joe Lacey, Dayton (OH) Board of Education Member

Tony Ballis, President, Dayton (OH) Stonewall Democrats

Noel Alicea, LGBT activist (NY)

*Organizations listed for identification purposes only.

Odd 'n' ends

I am about to be kicked off the lesbian team. Why? I think the L Word is horrible. I fast forward through the sex scenes and think that I would rather read something than watch that stupid show.

But then I may be back on the lesbian team since I have been asked to be one of the co-chairs of the Latino LGBT campaign for Obama. But that will be the whole team not just the lesbo section.

Tonight I finished my first successful hockey season. No goals but loads of new friends, LOTS of exercise and way too much fun.

Plus this weekend I put an ad on Craig's list to be a garden coach. You know, help people out with their gardens, give fabulous advice on how to grow, what they can grow and help them on the path to the garden of their dreams. I am now "Over the Fence Garden Coach." I had to do something since I was, once again, the #2 finisher for my latest attempt at employment. So if an environmentalist ever says we want to bring in more people of color, my head will blow off as I scream at them about their country club mentality. Yes, I was trying for a job at environmental organizations. For one place, I was interviewed for over five hours. They left a message on my voice mail telling me I didn't get the job. I later found out they gave it to a guy who had never been and E.D before. Nice. At the next place, I went to guess how many interviews????? Five!!!! Only to be told, thanks but no thanks. This job hunting thing blows.

So if you want your yard to look like the picture at the top, email me. And vote for Obama.

Hope

I am not happy with the results tonight but yet there is a glimpse of hope. I hope to never see Mike Huckabee's wife on tv again. My gawd her head is big!

An open letter to the Latino LGBT community

More names added to the list!

CONTACTS:

Gloria Nieto & Andres Duque
lgbt.latinos4obama@gmail.com

Thursday, February 28, 2008

An Open Letter to the Latino LGBT community:

Like many of you out there, we are thrilled at the opportunity to bring meaningful and lasting change to the White House by exercising our right to vote during this historic presidential election.

As LGBT Latinos and Latinas who happen to be immigrants or descendants from immigrant families we are sick and tired of seeing our lives and values be misrepresented by those who seek to drive wedges in our communities as a means to split our vote and gain power through division.

We saw it when the right wing used same-sex marriage to rile up the conservative vote for President George W. Bush and we are seeing it again with immigration being blamed as the source for all the nation's ills.

We know that these are the politics of fear and that those same politics only served to elect one of the worst presidents in US history.

This is why we believe that, in this presidential election, there is one clear choice.

BARACK OBAMA

On the LGBT community: Senator Obama continues to include us in his speeches without prompting or regardless of his audience. He has spoken of his desire to lead all Americans - and has specifically mentioned the LGBT community as being part of his vision of America - during the televised primary debates as well as during presentations in African-American churches as well as Latino gatherings in California.

Senator Obama has said that he supports gender inclusion in a federal bill that would ban discrimination against our communities (as has Senator Hillary Clinton), but, unlike Clinton, he has also said he would do away with the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), signed into law by President Bill Clinton, which allows states to discriminate against same-sex couples by only recognizing partnerships between a man and a woman (Clinton has said that she would only repeal part of the bill).

On immigration: At a time when even "respected" news media such as CNN use immigration bashing in order to drive up ratings and the Republican presidential candidates try to outdo each other in anti-immigrant fervor, we have been moved by Senator Obama's consistent overtures to immigrant communities, his rejection of using immigrants as a scapegoat and his efforts to shatter stereotypes that African-American communities won't stand up for immigrants or that Latinos will not vote for a black presidential candidate.

Economic tensions do exist between different communities of color, particularly at a time when the economy seems to be heading into a recession which might disproportionally affect our communities. But we need a president that will do his or her best to address the issues that are driving down this economy and not a president that will take advantage of those tensions for political gain.

We believe that the right person for the job is Senator Obama.

He offers a true vision of hope. A vision that values every single person who lives in the United States and not just an elite few.

A vote for Senator Obama provides an opportunity to change our country's values and embrace our strengths and diversity - and to turn back the onslaught of hate and discrimination we have seen over the last eight years.

For that reason, we would like to ask you to ad your signature to this letter and to simply say:

"We step forward to claim our voice as LGBT Latinos in support of Barack Obama for United States President."

En comunidad,

(List in formation: If you would like to add your name to this statement please send your name, city and state of residence to lgbt.latinos4obama@gmail.com)

• Chris Aguilar Garcia, Los Angeles, CA
• Noel Alicea, New York, NY
• Miguel Ayala, Washington, DC
• Geo Bustamante, Associate Editor, Gaysofla.com, Miami, FL
• W. Brandon Lacy Campos, Minneapolis, MN
• Pedro Chavez, Los Angeles, CA
• Wilson Cruz, Los Angeles, CA
• Andres Duque, Queens, NY
• Gael Guevara, New York, NY
• Lorenzo Herrera y Lozano, Austin, TX
• Jorge Irizarry, J.D., Bronx, NY
• Wilfred Labiosa, Boston, MA
• Roberto Martinez,Brooklyn, NY
• Gloria Nieto, San Jose, CA
• Felicia A. Ramos, Chicago, IL
• Martha Ramos Duffer, Psy.D., Austin, TX
• Omar Robinson-Rodriquez, Atlanta, GA
• Juan Ortíz, Raleigh, NC
• Annette Marie Rodriguez, Albuquerque, New Mexico

I got lost

Yes, I got lost in the blogosphere. My sister Virginia at least emailed to check up on me to make sure I was ok. I got caught up in the problems with my feet, my doctor being out of town, taking care of my cousin Riley, working on the Obama campaign, blah blah blah.

I am going to write, very soon, my history as a superdelegate. Just to try to give folks a peek into that world of rarified politics and knives.

But the sun is out, I tulips blooming and must return to the great outdoors.

I was a superdelegate pt.1

In my previous life, I was a DNC super delegate. During the eight years I was on the DNC, there was never a battle for delegates like we are seeing now. bummer for me, I always wanted a phone call from Chelsea Clinton. Ok, maybe not. That is no disrespect for Ms Chelsea. But when I was first asked to be on the DNC I some how had a different vision of what participation in the national level would look like and feel like. I wasn't even close.

My first meeting was in DC. As I came to find out, it either rains, snows or makes one sweat in DC. You have to pay for everything, plane tickets, hotels, meals and cabs. I have never made lots of money in this lifetime. Working at non-profits may make the soul feel good but it does not pay for $200 a night hotels in DC. I learned how to crash at friend's pads and eat at less expensive places in DC like Union Station. I digress, my first meeting was in the middle of a DC rainstorm. I had to stand out in traffic to try and get a cab to the hotel. By the time I managed this, I was drenched and came in looking, um, wet.

Everyone seemed to know each other and I knew no one. This is good time to point out that I was soaking wet and not feeling very confident. Did I say I was wet? I got to the lgbt meeting. Oh wait. It is a gay and lesbian meeting. Back in those days there was no lgbt. I still don't think it is lgbt but then again I never hear anything about the caucus so I don't know.

This actually brings up an interesting question. What has the caucus done for you and me lately? I know through Garry Shays' efforts the number of gay and lesbian delegates at the convention will be bigger. But the caucus has not grown in size and despite the bragging about appointed delegates, I still don't see any major improvements in the states or clubs. Well call me bitter but it is like going to a bar I have been tossed out of, I don't see anything good happening for us unless my man Barack gets the party on a progressive path.

More to come about my experiences at the DNC.

Barbara Zusman

It is a glorious California morning. I have been sitting on the front porch, watching Ruby stalk the bees in the lavender bush. But I have also been crying in the California sun. A kind woman I knew in New Mexico has died and I was feeling the sadness of that loss.

Barbara Zusman was one of a kind. There are moments of time etched in my memory of times with her.

She collected rocks. Not just any rocks but heart rocks, rocks that had been etched in nature into the form of a heart.

The girl loved to shop. One time at Creating Change in Pittsburgh her wife, Rachel Rosen, had done something to upset her. Barbara came sailing into the hotel with her cab driver in tow and both were carrying packages and bags with names like Bloomingdales and some other high end stores emblazoned on them. I turned to Jo and said, "Oh man, Rachel must have done something really bad."

At another Creating Change in San Diego, she and I took off and went to Tijuana. Now getting across the border is not the tidiest process in the world. This time was no exception, we had to wait and wait and then wait some more. She just said to me "This is a disaster." I just cracked up. I explained it was just typical. We had a great time and could talk about our Mexican adventure.

One time when my mother was visiting in Santa Fe, we had lunch with Barbara and Rachel at the Plaza restaurant. They were both so kind and funny with my mom. Then Barbara asked my mother if she was dating anyone. They bonded over that moment. After that they cruised up Canyon Road and spent the afternoon together. It was priceless.

Rachel and Barbara's wedding was such a beautiful day, a true testimony to love. Barbara hand made every single card given out to the guests. We were lavished with incredible food, , breathtaking flowers, little silver plates with their names and dates on them. After everything was over, many folks were running around picking up those plates off tables. During the Jewish service, there is a time when the couple circles each other three times. As it was described later, when Rachel and Barbara did this, there wasn't a dry seat in the house. We were all joyful, seeing two women obviously in love and proclaiming that love in front of friends and family.

At the reception, I still remember the sheer exuberance of the everyone on the dance floor with the two brides hoisted in the air in their chairs. The dykes took over holding the chairs aloft and I remember seeing Libby Atkins cowboy hat between Rachel's legs while holding her chair through the dance. It was priceless.

There are other stories but I will say that Barbara was an incredible artist. She had this really wonderful picture that she had hand colored of three women in undergarments in one of their extra rooms. Whenever I went over to their house, I would make a beeline for that picture and then talk to Barbara about it. She offered to let me pay her in payments for one of her pieces so that I could give it to my mom. I could never make it happen but I really appreciated her generosity.

She once ventured to Egypt on a tour by herself. I was really in awe that she would go to see the wonders of the world on her own. I would call her when tv shows about Egypt were on the History Channel. She was always appreciative of my little gestures like that, to share our love of ancient Egyptian culture and art.

Barbara had a real ability to grow sweet peas in the high desert. She showed me her sweet pea places in the yard. I was, again, in awe. My life has been a little bit better because I knew a little bit of Barbara Zusman. I planted sweet peas this week in her honor. I cried a tear or two for her too. When the plants bloom and bring fragrance to my yard, I will think about my times with her, thank her for the memories and enjoy the sweet gift of her flowers.

Bad call, very bad call

Someone has a really bad list. Mitt Romney has a really bad list because I have gotten two robocalls from his campaign. One from the Mittster and the other, here it is, wait, here it comes, was from Rick Santorum telling me how awful John McCain is. Why McCain is not a real conservative, didn't ya know, because he doesn't support a constitutional amendment to make marriage between a man and a woman. OH MY GAWD!

Then I got a polling call asking me which Republican I was voting for. I was so happy pressing the buttons for Ron Paul and Mike Huckabee. Heehee, then I got to vote for "traditional values" as the most important factor in my decision. I feel like I am getting to peek over the fence and see naked mud wrestling.

In California

Today I went to a press conference featuring out Assembly member John Laird of Santa Cruz. He has been working really hard to get people to vote yes for Prop 93 here in California. Why? Because under current law, he will be termed out at the end of the year. That would be really bad for the lgbt community but also the whole state of California.

Why? You may be asking why would this matter to the whole state. Well, John is also the chair of the Assembly budget committee. He negotiates with the Governator over things like money for schools, money for HIV programs, money for everything. This state has the fifth largest economy in the world! This is not just any job and it affects millions of people.

John also made the point that a number of legislators who are pro-marriage would also be termed out. That number could be as high as 25 legislators we would lose to term limits. So we would have to start all over again, educating people, working on campaigns to make sure we had friends who will vote the right way for us. If our friends stay in office we can focus on getting others to vote the right way. Or left way.

Any way, voting yes on Prop 93 will be very important to the whole lgbt community. My friend Clark would disagree but I think keeping John Laird in office is one of the most important things we could do for ourselves in California.


That's me next to John's left arm.

Update

The back seat of my car is the microcosm of my life. It has in it a hockey stick, yard signs for "yes on prop 93" and the banner for the Silicon Valley LGBT Dem club. Oh and empty water bottles waiting to be recycled. I am playing hockey again on Sunday so I will just leave the stick there. I may run into some protesters I need to whack.

Tuesday night was the club's Presidential forum. WE had reps from the Clinton, Obama, and Edwards campaign answering three questions we gave them in advance and then questions from the audience. We had over 40 people in attendance. Final results of the straw poll:

Obama 41%
Edwards 28
Clinton 25%
undecided 6%

Interesting, huh?

The election is less than a week away and I still can't decide who I am going to vote for in the California primary. I found it interesting that the campaigns were taking swings at each other, "Hillary did this, Obama said this." I just didn't expect that. Maybe because I have kept my distance and tried to look at the candidates pragmatically and the campaign people were more emotional.

I am having a hard time getting past my issues with Obama. I hated the way he was so condescending with Hillary at the NH debate. I really have a problem with his supporters acting like 5 year olds and saying we won't vote if Obama is not the candidate.

Four years ago when Howard Dean was running for DNC chair, I got lots of emails and letters asking me to vote for Dean. I answered all the emails politely saying I hadn't made up my mind but that for sharing your thoughts on voting for Dean. I got one particularly memorable letter. "If you don't vote for Dean, we will come after you with torches and pitchforks." Democracy doesn't thrive on those kind of threats. So when I hear the other threats, I wonder how mature this movement is, to take up the mantle of leadership and give full inclusion to all of us.

With Hillary I am struggling too. Everyone my age if supporting her. I like someone who knows and understands policy and what effect that ahs on the state of the union. But, I don't know, there is something missing, a connect that I can't say what it is so how can I ask the campaign to give me something I don't even know what I want. My friend Jorge Mursuli says you can't know what you don't know.

Time for me to figure it out. I'll let you know when I get there.

SATC

Did you ever see the episode of Sex and the City when Carrie's boyfriend broke up with her with a post-it? Well that's what happened last night with the latest almost job. I got a friggin voice mail saying we decided to hire the other person.

Needless to say, I was devastated. I continue to be devastated, feeling hopeless about ever getting a job again. I am working so hard at this and nothin'. Close but no cigar. No dice. I'm #2.

I could get lost in a sea of self-pity but I think I will just crawl into bed with Allegra and enjoy my heated throw and my dog. OK that was pretty good self-pity.

I can't make this up

Here is the latest installment of the Donald vs the DNC. In this episode, Claire Lucas is accused of perjury. She apparently helped the DNC write a blast at Donald.

Pushing the envelope

Here is the latest drivel from the DNC. It trumpets the inclusion of a whopping eight members of the LGBT communities to the upcoming convention this summer.

I have highlighted the more hilarious parts.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
January 16, 2008

DNC ELECTS RECORD NUMBER OF LGBT MEMBERS TO 2008 DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION STANDING COMMITTEES

Appointments Reflect Strength, Diversity and Energy of Democratic Party

DENVER - The Executive Committee of the Democratic National Committee
(DNC) unanimously elected DNC Chairman Howard Dean's nominations for the

Chairs and members of the 2008 Democratic National Convention Standing
Committees, including a record number of openly LGBT members. Dean's
LGBT appointments include Dr. Marjorie Hill of the Gay Men's Health Crisis organization in New York, Diego Sanchez from AIDS Action Committee of Massachusetts, State Representative Patricia Todd of
Alabama, and Ingrid Duran of Virginia to serve on the Platform Committee, along with Claire Lucas and Evan Low of California to the Rules Committee and Bob Rogan of Vermont to the Credentials Committee.
In addition to appointing a record number of LGBT standing committee members, Dean was also the first DNC chair to appoint a member of the transgender community to a Convention committee.

The Standing Committees of the Convention are responsible for reviewing Convention business and formulating recommendations for consideration by Convention delegates. The Executive Committee's vote took place during the panel's recent meeting in Denver, site of the four-day Convention in August.

"The record turnout and enthusiasm we've seen for our Democratic candidates is a clear sign that Americans trust Democrats to bring much needed change to our country," said Governor Dean. "These outstanding leaders reflect the great strength, diversity and energy of the Democratic Party, and I'm confident their efforts will ensure our
Convention in Denver is reflective of our shared values and our nominee's vision for America."

The elections included the Chairs and 25 Party Leader and Elected
Official (PLEO) members of the three Convention Standing Committees:

Credentials, Platform and Rules. Each committee has a total of 186 members. An additional 161 members elected by each of the states' and territories' Convention delegations will join Governor Dean's appointments to the committees later this spring.

So let us do the math. 186 member of committees times three makes 558 members of committees. Out of that 8 people will be either LGB or T. That is less than 10% so this is supposed to be reflective of the Democratic party? Wow, I am in awe.

And if I recall the latest news reports, one of those appointees, Clare Lucas, is about an inch away from contempt of court in the Donald Hitchcock suit against the DNC. Also I would like to point out that identifying people's non-profit place of employment with a political party jeopardizes the non-profit's status.

Makes me proud to be a Democrat.

Cross posted at Pam's House Blend

Bad dates

Here I am again at the beginning of the year without a job. Every week I get turned down by another agency and this is beginning, not it is a string of many bad dates.

I get all dressed up nice, wear shoes that hurt my feet. Sit with people I have just met and then get judged by them. Lovely. I think I have done well and things could work out but then comes the email or phone call or letter with my name misspelled saying thanks but we are going to move on without you.

Many mornings I wake up feeling nearly hysterical because the money is about to run out in unemployment and I am sitting here waiting for the phone to ring with some good news.

During this time I have been recruited for jobs but then nothing. That really aggravates me. Like don't lead me on if there is not going to be a job offer. I am irritated beyond belief and frustrated, feeling very bad about myself. I know I am not my job but it is very difficult to feel good after all these rejections.

It would be nice for the phone to ring with a job. This week.

Sheesh

A lot of folks dropped by here because I was quoted in the San Francisco Chronicle today. My quote was in a story written by Ms Marinucci about why the NH polls were so off. Here is my quote:

Where does (MSNBC host) Chris Matthews or any of these guys come off treating her like that?" said Nieto on Wednesday. "It was played out in high-definition in front of everybody how shrill, over the top and condescending they were. It was a frat boy party - and as women, we weren't liking it. And we spoke out yesterday - just look at the numbers."

I say pinhead pundits should not be allowed on unless they can talk about the statistics model they used to analyze the data.

WORD!

I'll take hockey

I have now figured out that I need to watch hockey instead of MSNBC. At least hockey is honest, men without teeth, banging into each other, pummeling each other bare fisted. It is not everyone's cup of tea, I admit, but it is true to life.

I was naive enough to give MSNBC another shot last night after the NH returns. Stupid me, it was a visit again to Mathews giving every excuse in the world for him being wrong. The voters are liars is a new one. Amazing that anyone would lie to a pollster, I guess to him anyway. And he continued on his merry woman hating way having a woman analyst from NH on and then proceeded to ask questions and then talk over her answers.

Any women out there ever have that happen? I thought so. Yeah, I'm sick of it too. Time to switch channels, work on someone's campaign so your voice is heard and leave the charter members of the women haters club in the rear view mirror.

Back to the hockey now.

Adios

Well Big Bill Richardson is waving adios from the New Mexican high desert to his chances of becoming President in this election cycle. I am sorry to see him go since his candidacy brought a Latino perspective to the Democratic race. During my time in New Mexico, I helped his campaign and he helped me with a gubernatorial appointment to the health policy commission and tickets to the Democratic convention for all my family.

He is indeed a rare politician who keeps his word. When he was first running for Governor, he met with small groups of "special interests". I was in the lesbian and gay meeting where we asked for a hate crimes law, a non-discrimination law and appointments to all the different state commissions. Not only did we get all of those requests filled but he added domestic partner benefits to all state employees. Promises made and promises kept.

Now we have to see what he does next. I don't think we have seen the last of Big bill on the national stage. I would bet my last dollar on that.

NH

I didn't know that I didn't care for Obama until he won in Iowa. Then I got really irritated with all the blatant sexism from all the boy talking heads. And now the analysis from the boy talking heads is this "Democratic insiders are concerned that this could turn into a gender war." Do these guys get paid to be this stupid?

All of them are a just plain old stupid if they just now realize there is a gender gap. Duh, let's go over this slowly. We make less money. There has never been a woman president. How many women are elected compared to men? This is what a gender gap looks like! And now we see what democracy looks like.

Gotta love this

IN the Chronicle today, there was a story posted about the legal victory for Dykes on Bikes. Here in the year of our Lard, 2008, some people don't understand this. There are some slow pokes still in the Bay Area.

And this from the comments is too perfect:

"piedcanard wrote:...and as far as lesbians go, they want very little to do with men. ..."------Ya know, everything is not always about men.... I would venture to guess that most lesbians have zero problem with men, they just don't want to have sex with them.

Part 2

In the sunny California area where I live, gardening is one of the biggest hobbies around. As I have posted both with pictures and in writing I spend as much time as possible in the yard, ending to flowers, veggies and herbs. I am a gardener in every way possible.

This means I have hope, Hope for my seeds, then seedlings. Hope for all the little pieces of garlic that I plant that they will re-emerge as a full bulb of garlic, spreading lots of flavor in my kitchen. This is also the reason I am involved politically because I have hope that my community, state and country will be better through working with like minded people to leave things better than how we found it.

Now we are really in campaign season for a shit load of offices. I cannot make my mind up on who I would like to be the next President. I know it must be a Democrat but who, I don't know who I prefer. And now that the white white white white white population of Iowa has spoken and the same demographics in New Hampshire will speak soon, the conversations are changing, folks have dropped out and it is getting time to decide.

Here's the thing for me, there is a candidate who talk all about hope but I don't know if he is for me. I just don't know. Change will happen no matter what, that horse's butt Bush will be out in just over a year.

The only thing I know for sure is that I will continue to hope the Sharks will figure out a way to win at home and that a Democrat will win in November. I'll just go back to reading seed catalogues and hope for the spring to bring new leaves and hope for change.

Poor thing

Someone help this child! And her children! Britney loses her mind and custody.

Part 1

Today my house was without electricity for almost 12 hours. But I am prepared. I have one handy unit, a crank flashlight that has a radio, a compass, a flashing light and siren all rolled into one easy to carry around package. I thought I should check the news to see if there were floods or other disasters nearby.

So I cranked up the radio and listened to... Gwen Ifill, David Brooks and Mark something on NPR. This is not about checking the news but being a political junkie. I had no access to news about Iowa or New Hampshire! So I listened to Bobo and Mark discuss caucki and primaries. They talked about things I had neither seen nor heard, Obama's speech last night (hockey was on) and Hillary's speech (hockey still on) and I found out something very important. It didn;t matter if I heard those speeches because there would still be a vote on Tuesday and that speech won't really matter on Tuesday nor will Bobo or Mark. They won't matter because other people, mostly white white white white white people will be voting on Tuesday.

I thought this lineup was going to get changed and some people of color were going to get a vote early in the process. Apparently my brown vote will get thrown into the mix on Super Duper Tuesday.

OMG it is after midnight, the ambien will be working soon and I will be saying all kinds of hateful things about the DNC, Howard Dean and all those people I have interviewed with who didn't give me a job. I'll get back to you in the morning.

Well, well

Seems the chickens have come home to roost. Ms Marinucci spotted the god father of California homophobia speaking for his good friend, Mitt Romney in Iowa yesterday. Isn't that special?

Last day and part of the night

So here it is...the end of 2007. I hate changing years, having to remember the new year on my checks, new calendars, new everything. Let this be said about alcoholics of all stripes, we hate change. So this is the worst of all- a big change.

Plus it is amateur night when every normal person goes out to get all likkered up and make a fool of themselves. Strictly amateurs.

Yesterday I was all doom and gloom over the change. I'll never get a job. Nothing will ever change. Of course, it deosn't help waking up to my feet hurting like hell before I ever stand up. That puts the gloom into the day quickly. But today, ah, different day and things can change. My feet still hurt but I am well on my way to getting in to the senior center gym in Santa Clara, going back to hockey, swimming again, a new job right around the corner and a real pay check soon. I ordered all kinds of seed catalogs the other night, will be putting compost into the veggie garden and plucking more ripe lemons from the back yard tree. I may have to dig that hole for the new rose bush too.

I am going to do my best this year to not get down for every little thing, be hopeful about the future and share the joy.

Wow, for someone who doesn't make New year's resolutions that sure sounded like some!

Happy New Year to everyone who stops by here. May all our dreams come true in '08, starting with a Democrat in the White House.

Bhutto

Here is the transcript for Democracy Now on Bhutto's assassination. There is very valuable information in these interviews about Pakistan, past and present. I stand corrected.

Chchchaanges

Damnit, I forgot I had a blog again!

Christmas has zipped by me again but it was a nice time with lots of parties and time well spent with the family. Leading up to Christmas I wrestled with that deadly viral infection so I wasn't too cheerful but definitely gay. Now I sit and stare at the phone, waiting for the group who interviewed me to call with a job offer. Apparently that doesn't happen during this week.

It was horrible to fire up the computer yesterday and see the headlines about Benazir Bhutto's assassination in Pakistan yesterday. I have followed the stories out there for a while, noting the upcoming elections coupled with Bush's idiotic policies playing out in full view of the world so we can see a thug with his hand on the trigger of nukes. Apparently Cheney and Musharraf are BFF so far be it for us to demand some accountability for all the billions going into that country. But the NYT nailed it today with this quote:

The assassination highlighted, in spectacular fashion, the failure of two of President Bush’s main objectives in the region: his quest to bring democracy to the Muslim world, and his drive to force out the Islamist militants who have hung on tenaciously in Pakistan, the nuclear-armed state considered ground zero in President Bush’s fight against terrorism, despite the administration’s long-running effort to root out Al Qaeda from the Pakistan-Afghanistan border.

Ah yes, spectacular fashion.

This changed the terrain in Iowa too. All of sudden the agents for change don't look so good. Huckster didn't know his geography. Obama can't make the case for change when experience is indeed important so he tries to thrash Hillary. McCain looks like he knows what he is talking about compared to a former governor and mayor.

We'll see what the new year brings in elections whether it be in Pakistan or Iowa.

An answer

I returned this evening from another off hours visit to Kaiser with a real diagnosis. I have not been able to hit the keyboard because of the stomach problems I have had. Poor Jo, I have been crying, vomiting, crying, vomiting, rinse and repeat. But now at least the doc gave me a prescription to stop the barfing and hope that this viral infection I have will clear up. I hope so, Christmas is on and there is food to eat and laughs to share. I am praying for some relief.

Monday morning bliss

This morning I got to spend a few hours with some of my cousins. It was one cousin's birthday and I hooked up with her at my other cousin's house. This is why I live here in San Jose, California, to be able to sit and talk about very real things in our lives, both past and present. To be able to talk so honestly about my life, my sorrow, their sorrows and what life will be like when people pass, what their children are like and the very soul of a family, love.

Imagine what a miracle it is to tell the truth and share that with family about being lesbian, about the shame I have carried all my life about who I am, who I love and to get love back to replace the self-hate. To be trusted with their children and given the chance to share me, just me, as the child of God who is kind and generous and funny with all of them. I get yelled at all the time because I make them presents or get the kids something because there is that little problem of unemployment.

Last week when I had one of the kids we were walking down the street together and he looked at me with the most earnest face and said, "Some girls like girls and some boys like boys and that's just the way it is." What a season of miracles, there is hope for all of us.

Thursday this and that

Waaah, I should be walking around the French Quarter now with Chris Daigle. Spending money I don't have, laughing and laughing and carrying on. But it was not to be this year.

I had to cancel my trip to New Orleans on Tuesday because I just could not deal with the pain in my feet. The thought of standing in line to get through security made me cry just thinking how much it would hurt. And I know NOLA, you have to walk a lot and since I cannot walk around the block without pain, the idea of wandering through the Quarter, well, it was just too much.

So I am at home, on a rainy day, making calenders on my Mac, filling in the excel spread sheet of presents both made and purchased, I am going to finish the village today, putting up the pond area now. The tree comes this weekend and I am going to the Sharks game on Saturday. Whoohoo.

Plus, plus, plus, I had a really good job interview yesterday. This could easily be my dream job. It will be even better if I can start before Christmas. Hopefully I will hear very very soon and I can be back on my way to getting up at a reasonable time in the morning, getting a bigger check than unemployment and actually paying off my bills every month. How adult of me.

But now I must go watch Shrek 3.

new thoughts

My wife just sent me this picture of me and Ruby, my tailless cat. I love Ruby with all my heart and she has had a very hard hard life. I found her after she rolled under a van on one of the busiest streets in Santa Fe.

Since then she has broken her leg badly and lost her tail to some neighborhood dogs. But she is still as lovable as ever, she cuddles with me, sits on my chest and purrs and tells me every chance she gets that she is hungry. She greets both of every day in the driveway and shows off how she can roll in the lawn.

So Jo took this picture of Ruby and I cuddling the other night. What I saw was a woman with an extra chin, arms that were flabby and every other little thing I could pick out that was wrong with me, in my eyes. I sent an email back to Jo saying all this and she responded by saying "That's what you see."

What a mind blowing experience. I realized how much I had invested of my life and soul telling myself I wasn't cute, or attractive or worthy of love. I have been crying ever since. What a WASTE!

I had given in to the homophobes who have said all those things, I listened and I believed them. I made their lies real in my head and they had won. I was sobbing thinking about all the people and creatures who loved me unconditionally. How much time have I put into thinking how unattractive I am? A lifetime.

Time for a new outlook on life. One filled with joy and laughter, pain and sorrow but never again about how I look and whether that is good enough. Because I am one unique woman.

Quote

I can't seem to figure out how to blog much lately. But I did manage to get myself quoted in the San Francisco Chronicle today. Plus I am showing off my picture with Sharks rookie Devin Setoguchi. I know, he's cute, huh? What a nice guy, too. It was nice to see so many Asian folks out there to get his autograph. He signed my new jersey.

I guess I have been a little brain dead post Cupertino elections. I worked on my friend, Gilbert Wong's campaign. I am happy to report that we won and he will be sworn in this coming Tuesday. Then me and the esposa are running off to New Orleans. Finally I will get to see my friend Chris.

Last time I saw him was when he was running for the state house in an attempt to become the first openly gay elected person in Louisiana. The election was soooo close, he missed the runoff by 56 votes. Damnit, so close. BTW, if you get a chance, go look at his art work. He is selling these really cool ceiling tiles on Craig'sList in New Orleans. It is under arts+crafts.

Now about that job, I am hoping for something very soon. But then I have been hoping for 4 months now. Please, universe, how about a meaningful job with enough money before Christmas.

Thanksgiving

Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy. That describes my last few weeks. Here was Thanksgiving barreling down on the US and I couldn't think of a thing to be grateful for. Then last night both Ruby and Gus were sitting on my lap, Jo was nearby, Allegra was waiting for me at my feet and the others were hanging around. I finally took a breath and was overwhelmed with gratitude. Finally. Now the job can come next.

Another perspective

I went with mi esposa on Sunday up to UC Santa Cruz to table for Pride at Work. The event was a people of color conference and we were part of the resource fair.

Boy did I come away with some hope! I saw first hand how gay marriage will become a reality in the future. There was not one person who ran away from the table when they found out we were homos. Everyone knew about the LGBT resource center on their campuses. All of them had LGBT friends. All of them took queer stickers.

And in my lifetime I believe they will nonchalantly change the laws to give us equality. That will be a day to remember.

Perspective

While I haven't cuddled up to any Presidential candidate as a choice for next year, I have been having a woman's perspective on the debates. There has been a lot of male hand wringing over Hillary's alleged complaint about being ganged up on at said debates.

So having been in many meetings where I was the only woman,including one very memorable one with Governor Richardson, I can tell you this ganging up thing is part of every day professional life. My other professional women colleagues who I have discussed this with are in agreement, you guys have no idea what this looks like to us and that we have all experienced it in the course of our careers.

So stop the weeping and wailing, it doesn't play well. We have been through and hate it. Snap out of it!

Richardson's press

Here is Governor Bill Richardson's press release regarding ENDA.



Governor Richardson Urges Congress to Pass Employment Non-Discrimination Act

For Immediate Release
November 7, 2007

Contact: Tom Reynolds
(505) 681-1832

WASHINGTON, DC-- New Mexico Governor and Democratic Presidential candidate Bill Richardson today released the following statement urging Congress to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA):

"This should be a no-brainer for Congress: ENDA is an essential piece of civil rights legislation that has taken too long-- thirteen years-- to get to this point. It is hard to believe that we even have to debate prohibiting discrimination of any kind.

"I applaud Congressman Barney Frank for his tireless efforts in advancing the cause of equality and justice. However, let us be clear-- the struggle for equality is not over. I am disappointed, as I know Congressman Frank is, that gender identity is not protected in today's bill. That must be fixed.

"In my first year as Governor of New Mexico, I expanded anti-discrimination laws to include sexual orientation. I also signed into law New Mexico's first hate crimes legislation, which included acts based on sexual orientation, and I issued an executive order extending state health insurance benefits to all domestic partnerships. As President of the United States, I will fight for those same protections and rights for every American.

"ENDA is a pivotal step toward equal treatment under the law for every American. Along with my friends in the LGBT community, I look forward to the day when this no longer is an issue, when discrimination of any kind is not tolerated, and when we can celebrate our diversity as a nation and the protection of every American's civil rights."

A week

I forgot how hectic the last week of a campaign is. That is the one real bummer with having a Halloween birthday is that it always runs right into the elections.

So the candidate I was helping, Gilbert Wong, won election to the Cupertino City Council. So I have been trying to have a birthday, work furiously on this election and discovered that it is not good to change hormones. After I changed my prescription I began to cry and cry and cry and cry and cry. Not just little teary eyed moments over a commercial but copious, knock-me-to-my-knees crying fits. Not so better living through chemistry. I finally realized what had happened and stopped taking them, called the doctor and said I want to go back to my old prescription NOW. Since then the birds are singing again and I am not such a big hormonal wuss.

Also in this time, ENDA was voted on. I cannot be joyful that my trans brothers and sisters were left behind. Even though the bill will now be dead moving to the Senate, it is still such anguish for me to think that gay and lesbian people decided to leave some of us behind.

Now I will go back to the New Mexico story. The ending is perfect, Governor Bill Richardson signs in to law a trans inclusive hate crime law, a non-discrimination law and then signs an executive order give domestic partnership benefits for state employees. What happened before all this is currently being rewritten in New Mexico to not include me who was on the floor of the House the night we got the ENDA bill passed nor my partner who was Executive Director of the statewide LGBT group.

What is critical to note are two things: 1. many lesbians and gays were more than willing to throw the trans community under the bus if it meant the L&G's would get something out of it. 2. what stopped that from happening is L&G people saying no, we all get there together. And that is what happened because many of us refused to be pushed around for expediency and showed a moral center. Compare this to secret deals, lies in public and a lack of a moral center for certain DC types.

There can be all the tut-tutting people want to say those of us who wanted to stay together are politically naive. To which I say I can live with that because I kept my word. However, I am not politically naive, I am experienced at many levels of lobbying and can walk the halls of Congress and Sacramento and talk to just about anybody. So when the multi-million dollar organizations throw their hands up in the air, it says a lot about our movement. WE have many people who lack a moral center. And don't care about transgender people. No wonder the LGBT people of color have been screaming for so long this again illustrates how this movement is about comfort with anyone not like us. How we are very quick to claim homophobia but are more than willing to throw those under the bus who aren't just like us.

It is a sad day indeed. I wonder what would have happened to all those gay men with AIDS whose lives were made better from all the lesbians who took care of them and loved them and changed their sheets and fed them and were left behind with broken hearts. So what if we had said, what do I have in common with these guys? Look they got infected, too bad, deal, you did this to yourselves. That isn't what happened though because somewhere deep inside of us, we saw our humanity in our dying brothers and could not look away or hide from the truth.

The grand compromise gave us nothing. WE are not better today than we were the day before this vote. But at least we see the people "in charge" for what they are: people without a moral center. Rosa Parks they are not.

Halloween birthday

On the West coast it is about one hour away from the witching hour. It is also an hour away from my birthday. I haven't had any startling revelations yet but I will be sure to share here I if I do. Also I had two job interviews this week and both are jobs I would really enjoy. I would also really enjoy health benefits and a regular pay check. Throw an office in there with it within biking distance and I could be one happy homosexual! I feel the change coming that is why I have been trying to finish my projects at homelike hanging up my art work in my room. I applied today for a position with the Santa Clara County Sister Region Commission. The region would be Moscow. I can hardly stand it that I may get to have relationships with Muscovites and actually see the Faberge eggs, the Tretyakov Museum and a hockey game in Russia. Too bad I don't drink so I won't have tales of drinking Russian vodka. Oh but I will have pictures of St Basil's Cathedral. The Kremlin. Red Square, the Moscow subway. OH my GAWD, my mind boggles to think that I could meet with the Gay Russian man who has been organizing Pride in Moscow and gotten arrested twice for it. We could do some AIDS work! Ah the possibilities.

Winchester Mystery House

The missus and I just returned from a flashlight tour of the Winchester Mystery House, a Santa Clara County landmark. It was built by the late Sarah Winchester who was the a beneficiary of the Winchester Rifle fortune. Sarah was a bit of a kook, building what started as an unfinished sic bedroom farm house into a spooky Victorian with a ton of rooms, fireplaces, Tiffany windows, stairs to nowhere, stairs that end in walls, a seance room and purported ghosts everywhere. Last week the Travel Channel did a live broadcast from there.

So we went over there at the ungodly hour of 9:45 PM for the 10:15 tour. Now we are on the path to showing how old I am. 9:45 on Halloween weekend is apparently too much for me. There were a number of drunk people on the tour. So since I had paid a ridiculous amount of money for these tickets, I was really getting irritated with the drunken masses. I couldn't hear everything, they were loud, laughing too much and ruining my tour. So the old lady in me asked the tour guide to shut them up. See where I am going here? Birthday this week, acting like an old lady, complaining about drunks, old lady right?

Guess I better go warm up my milk and head to bed now.

Show me the money

Right from the "I don't give a shit about you" Republican manual, Ms Marinucci writes about the total lack of support from the Repub Presidential candidates raising money in California while the southern part of the state burns.

A leading Republican blog is spot on:

"I find it very distasteful that while neighbors are dealing with these fires in their own way, whether directly impacted, or trying to empathize with those who have been - that they are being hounded by presidential campaigns - Republicans no less," wrote Jon Fleischman, the Irvine-based publisher of the Flashreport (www.flashreport.org), a leading GOP Web site.

"How candidates and officeholders react in the midst of a tragedy tells you a lot about whether they are focused on themselves, or on the people around them," he wrote.

I must point out though that things are much better at the San Diego Chargers stadium than at the Superdome. Among other things there are children's art classes and yoga for the displaced. Could it have something to do with the vast numbers of white people who are displaced as opposed to black folks in New Orleans? Naaaah, that would be racism.

We love Linda!

FROM THE OFFICE OF LINDA T. SÁNCHEZ
Representing California’s 39th District

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

October 18, 2007

LINDA SÁNCHEZ votes against narrow version of EMPLOYMENT NON-DISCRIMINATION ACT

Congresswoman calls for inclusion of gender identity protections

Washington, DC – Congresswoman Linda Sánchez (D-Lakewood) issued the following statement when casting her vote today in the House Committee on Education and Labor against H.R. 3685, a narrow version of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) that excludes protections based on gender identity. Congresswoman Sánchez is an original cosponsor of H.R. 2015, the original version of ENDA that was introduced earlier this year and prohibits workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity.

Congresswoman Sánchez joined three other Democrats in opposing H.R.3685 for similar reasons. The bill won approval by the Committee and is expected on the House floor next week. Congresswoman Sánchez is actively working to rally support for an anticipated amendment by Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin (D-Wisconsin) to add gender identity protections into the legislation.

“I am pleased that last month, the Subcommittee on Health, Employment, Labor and Pensions held a hearing on H.R. 2015, the original version of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act that was introduced earlier this year. I am a proud original cosponsor of that bill, which would prohibit workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.

“I am disappointed that we're not marking up that bill today. Instead, we have a narrower, less inclusive version of the bill, which does not include gender identity.

“In the opening statement I submitted at last month's hearing, I said I was proud that as a member of this Committee, I was able to help make our employment laws consistent with our values.

“Unfortunately, this bill does not go far enough to enshrine American values into law because it fails to include protections to those who arguably need it most: transgender people, as well as those who don't conform to gender stereotypes. These are the most vulnerable people we sought to protect in H.R. 2015, the fully inclusive ENDA.

“I believe I am correct to say that it is an American value that it is unacceptable to deny someone a job, a raise, or a promotion for arbitrary factors beyond their job performance. And that is a value that holds true regardless of the worker’s real or perceived gender identity."

Oh so perfect

It is just priceless sometimes to live near San Francisco and get to read pieces like this.

On Oct. 7, Archbishop George Niederauer delivered the Eucharist to members of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence - an activist group whose motto is "go forth and sin some more" - prompting cries of outrage from conservatives across the country and Catholics in San Francisco.

YMCA

A letter to Congreswoman Linda Sanchez

AN URGENT LETTER TO CONGRESSWOMAN LINDA T. SANCHEZ

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Dear Congresswoman Sanchez:

The U.S. House Education and Labor Committee, on which you serve, is scheduled to vote within the next two days on H.R. 3685, the version of the Employment Nondiscrimination Act (ENDA) that excludes gender identity protection.

As leaders of the Latino lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community throughout the United States we respectfully ask you to vote against approval of this version of ENDA and – instead - insist on a committee vote in favor of H.R. 2015, the version of the Employment Nondiscrimination Act (ENDA) that includes gender identity protections which would make employment discrimination against transgender people illegal.

You might be aware that these bills have drawn a tremendous response from various local and national LGBT organizations and leaders - as well as non-gay allies – who overwhelmingly recognize that stripping away gender identity language from ENDA would leave the transgender community without protections against discrimination.

And, as often is the case in the Latino community, the heated dialogue that has ensued might be considered by some as something that might pertain to the LGBT community but might not be of concern to Latinos living in the United States.

Those of us who have signed this letter, believe nothing could be further from the truth.

Over the last few decades, the LGBT movement in the United States certainly has made tremendous strides towards being recognized as equal citizens and yet, what is little known is that the Latino LGBT community and our Latino straight allies have been an integral part of this civil rights movement.

During the 1969 Stonewall Riots in New York City, seen now as the launch of the modern gay rights movement, Sylvia Rivera emerged as one of the key figures standing up to discrimination during those fateful nights, along with other Latina women who happened to be transgender.

And, while it is unarguable that the general environment for gays and lesbians has greatly improved since the Stonewall Riots, thanks in no small part to Sylvia and other Latino trangender heroes, the same cannot be said for transgender people who are probably almost as vulnerable today as they were then.

Some in the gay community have argued that the ‘T’ as in “transgender” is not part of the gay community but, if you really think about it, when people discriminate against a person based on their perceptions of who we are as gays and lesbians, their discrimination is often based on their perception of gender roles and not only sexual orientation.

This is particularly true of the Latino community which often confuses the issues of gender with sexual orientation as if they were interchangeable. Spanish language newspapers and television news often refer to transgender individuals as gays and gay Latinos are often asked what their gender role is in bed – whether a gay man is a “woman” in bed or a lesbian woman is “a man” – which speaks to how these issues are sometimes seen in the general Latino community.

Furthermore, for those of us who are transgender, have transgender friends and/or work with transgender communities, we are direct witnesses to how vulnerable the community is to being discriminated particularly in gaining employment.

For these and many other reasons, we know that it would be unconscionable to pass an ENDA bill that leaves the transgender community – and the Latino transgender community in particular – behind.

On behalf of the Latino LGBT leaders listed below in alphabetical order, we look forward to hearing from you. If you need additional information or would like to ask questions about this statement, please contact me at XXXXX.

Sincerely,



Gloria Nieto


Signees:

*Noel Alicea, Gay Men’s Health Crisis, New York, NY
* Marta Donayre, Love Sees No Borders, Sunnyvale, CA
*Andres Duque, Mano a Mano @ Latino Commission on AIDS, New York, NY
* Lorenzo Herrera y Lozano, ALLGO statewide people of color organization, Austin, TX
* Nila Marrone, LATINO PFLAG - NYC, PFLAG for Families of Color and Allies in NYC (PFLAG is an acronym for Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays)
*Lisbeth Melendez, political consultant, Washington, DC
*Gloria Nieto, former member of the Democratic National Committee, San Jose, CA
*Pedro Julio Serrano, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Washington, DC
* Herb Sosa, Unity Coalition/Coalicion Unida, Miami, FL

* Affiliations appear for identification purposes only, signatures do not imply that those affiliations endorse this letter unless otherwise indicated

Damn

Here we go again. The Governator has once again vetoed a marriage bill passed in the California legislature. According to the SF Chronicle:

In his veto message, Schwarzenegger said voters and the state Supreme Court should decide the issue. The high court is likely to rule next year on whether California's ban on gay marriages violates the constitution.

Then a positive outcome will be the fault of activist judges. All these Republicans always want to pass the buck, it's the judges, no, it's the voters, no it's the legislators, no, it is a 12-year-old with no insurance.

This is what immorality looks like, not two people who love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together, legally.

Butthole.

Donald v 2.5

I got a chance to talk to my friend Donald Hitchcock yesterday. You may remember that he is suing his former employer, the Democratic National Committee, the DNC. There is an article in today's Washington Blade about the legal case and the current status of said case.

Again, since I have had an insider's perspective and I believe that telling the truth is a critical component of politics (Yes, I am old school that way) the case is a clash of the truth versus political expediency, power and privilege against one gay guy in the DNC trying to make sure all the homos get something from the adult table. I know this is a simplistic argument but it is also based on my experience at the DNC, the lies, the underhanded tactics, the punishment that occurs for speaking your mind and representing your constituency.

The LGBT part of the Democratic party has always been the red headed step child. The big dogs had no issues taking those checks but , lordy, we should not ask to be on the stage with us or be seen in public. In 2000 at the Presidential convention in Los Angeles, there were eight openly gay and lesbian speakers, including myself. In 2004 that number was three. There were more lesbian and gay delegates and way more transgender delegates but you would never know that from the number of speakers on the stage. The same thing could be said about the Latino delegation, hundreds of delegates and only two speakers on stage.

So when Howard Dean was elected chair of the DNC, there was great hope for inclusion. During the run up to the chair election, Dean promised the lesbian and gay caucus that there would continue to be a gay and lesbian desk (the insider term for a staff person who is focused on a certain constituency). What happens when Dean gets elected? No more desk. Everyone is to be blended into a new American Majority program.

Donald Hitchcock was the staff for the Democratic Leadership Council, the big bucks boob at the DNC. His job was squeeze every dime out of the homos with dough. Donald also saw his role as an advocate for the LGBT community, making sure that there were actions taken to support our issues.

When Paul Yandura, Donald's partner wrote a letter blasting the DNC for its lack of action on anti-gay election referendums in state's all over the country, guess what? Donald was fired.

So now a little farther down the path, this case is going to court. There is an error in the Blade's reporting on the case. The mediation they are headed for is part of a normal process in this type of procedure. The judge did not order Donald and the DNC into mediation. They now have four months to ask 36 questions of the litigants at the DNC. I can hardly wait for the answers.

This all could have been avoided too if the DNC, specifically the chair of the DNC, Howard Dean, had not been such a horse's butt. Donald asked for three things, a letter of recommendation, severance pay and a letter clarifying the harmful statements that had been said about Donald in the building. They tried a number of things to get the situation cleared up, asking people to approach Dean to get some resolution, getting their lawyer to apply some legal pressure, none of it worked.

So now here we are, the law suit to be heard at the beginning of the next year, a presidential election year. Nice to see the DNC has its priorities in order, especially toward the LGBT community. And ask yourself, when was the last time you heard from the DNC? Was it to ask for money? Heard any affirmations about our needs in the upcoming elections? I bet not.

I am sure once the questions are answered, we will have a lot more questions. And it will not be how much can I give you.

Lessons

I have returned from Chico having learned these things:

• It is really really really white on that campus.
• I didn't realize that it is a really really really white campus when I was there.
• Things do change in 29 years.
• It is hard to move buildings but easy to add buildings. Therefore, I could still find my way around.
• I went to school with some wonderful people, especially Art Thompson and Wayne Miyamoto.
• Memories are good as memories. Going back to Chico, California was nice to do but I have no reason to go back again. I will always remember Helen's Donuts opening at 10 PM for the stoned college students to go and pick out our donuts in the back. I will remember being a successful sports writer but that person is gone. And that is just fine.
• A college town is just a town, it is not superior to the surrounding communities.
• I am still a student of life even after leaving college. There are many more lessons for me while I am here.
  

Chico memories and now

Thursday I am going back for the first time in 28 years to my college alma mater. I came out there at Chico State, had my first lesbian heartbreak, met my first gay man. Back in those days we were 100 miles away from the closest gay bar. We were rural, not organized and deeply segregated by gender.

Then there was a Homo 101 class and suddenly all these queers were sitting in the same class room. I learned about chicken hawks and size queens, felching and snowballing, shrimp queens and leather queens. I loved hanging around these very witty gay men who introduced me to cocaine and poppers. I am also grateful I made it out alive!

This controversy about inclusion, lack of inclusion, who owns the movement and who is getting in the door first is truly sad. I am sad because I remember how hopeful we were then, before AIDS, at the dawn of liberation.

Liberation is apparently only for a few with the right body parts in the right order. Me, I think I will hang with my sisters and brothers who want the liberation for all. I think our party will be much more fun. Cus there won;t be anyone pushing each other out of the way to get at the front of the line.

Besides, we are going to line up by height and I am the shortest so all you people line up in back of me. Let's get this party started. Belly up to the bar folks, equal rights for everyone.

Big week

This is turning out to be a big week for me.

On Thursday I am returning to scene of my collegiate crimes, Chico State. My friend and former colleague, Art Thompson is getting inducted into our old newspaper's Hall of Fame. So I am driving in my convertible back to Chico State. Plus I have to buy a new Chico state sweatshirt for the autumn.

Then on Sunday, the magic moment arrives! My first hockey game! Dun da da! I will become old #78 and who knows what position I will play but I will be playing. whoohoo!

Yeah!

From
Pelosi, Miller, Frank and Baldwin Statement on ENDA

Washington, D.C. -- Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Education and Labor Committee Chairman George Miller, Congressman Barney Frank, and Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin issued the following statement today on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA):

"After discussions with congressional leaders and organizations supporting passage of ENDA, we have agreed to schedule mark-up of the bill in the Committee on Education and Labor later this month, followed by a vote in the full House. This schedule will allow proponents of the legislation to continue their discussions with Members in the interest of passing the broadest possible bill."