tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296799362024-03-06T20:55:02.603-08:00MISS WILD THINGWild Thing! You make my heart sing!
You make everything grooooovy!miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.comBlogger502125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-18112803317553735572012-04-29T16:44:00.001-07:002012-04-29T16:44:18.772-07:00You Can Play Project - an interview with founder Patrick Burke<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLXLQd3QE-uZ7eA2JQUeD8qiAm3bDxvyrP9w3syFAB4rHxFimgKidcwAGS2L7jrvHRaOAEgWj4G3QwhToG9Tw86YSm7bWZNzxVXg5KEw_Akcr2g98vfsy3TeWfK4WfRhhyyUJMrQ/s1600/CBC3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLXLQd3QE-uZ7eA2JQUeD8qiAm3bDxvyrP9w3syFAB4rHxFimgKidcwAGS2L7jrvHRaOAEgWj4G3QwhToG9Tw86YSm7bWZNzxVXg5KEw_Akcr2g98vfsy3TeWfK4WfRhhyyUJMrQ/s320/CBC3.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Burke Family members,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Left to right, Patrick, Brendan, Molly, and Katie Burke. All siblings. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">The You Can Play
Project </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;">http://youcanplayproject.org/pages/staff-and-board</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;">A Conversation with
Patrick Burke, a founder of You Can Play</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;">and Gloria Nieto,
journalist, Frontiers Magazine, San Francisco Gate</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: I am talking with Patrick Burke of the You Can Play
Project.<span> </span>Patrick are you
considered the founder?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: There are three of us who are co-founders. Myself, Glenn
Witman who is the president and founder of GForce which is an all gay hockey
team in Denver, and Brian Kitts who is a long time sports marketing
professional and professor in the Denver area.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: Interesting, I never would have thought you would have
so much based in Denver. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">PB: Well I don’t know if you want the whole back story.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">GN: Absolutely, I want it all.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">PB: In the wake of losing my brother, I was looking for ways
to get involved with something like this.<span>
</span>I had no idea about anything having to do with gay rights. I had no idea
who to talk to.<span> </span>Glenn actually
reached out to me to have me moderate an “Invisible Athlete’s Forum” which is a
panel discussion that we do in which gay athletes share their stories and
experiences growing up as a gay athlete. We have done several of them now with
coaches, players with teams and they are great. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">He asked me to moderate one in Denver. So I went out to Denver
and thought it was just amazing, the outreach that they do, the forums were
something I really wanted to be a part of. So after doing it, I kind of pulled
Glenn aside and basically, whether you guys like it or not, you guys are stuck
with me because we are about to start doing some work together.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">I did a few more of the “Invisible Athlete” forums and
continue to do those. I had an idea for something bigger.<span> </span>I had the model with “You Can Play” in
my head since I wrote it as an article.<span>
</span>I had it in my head and wanted to use it for something.<span> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Glenn brought in Brian who was, at the time, a professor of
sports marketing at Denver University.<span>
</span>The three of us talked about a few different ways to do it or whether we
should give it to another major gay rights group or if it was something to try
other ways to handle.<span> </span>Eventually
we said screw it, we’ll do it ourselves.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: How long ago was that?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">It was almost a year ago to the day to be honest with you.
The first time we had the discussion when we said basically screw it let’s do
it ourselves was right around April 30 of last year. We presented at the
American Association of Hockey Coaches convention in Naples, Florida.<span> </span>That day in the hotel we were talking
about it. We had talked about giving it to different groups whether it was
GLAAD or GLSEN or HRC or something like that. It was right around April 30 when
we said let’s see if we can do it ourselves.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: You have to be thrilled with the amount of positive
response you have gotten from this so far. Amazing videos, big names getting
behind this right away, obviously you have spent some time getting ready for
this roll out.<span> </span>Also it helps
having your last name and having your credentials in the NHL so I am just
wondering, did you approach guys individually? Did you have a team that did outreach?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">PB: The original way we did it, we set up an advisory
board.<span> </span>The first two NHL guys we
talked to were Tommy Wingels of San Jose and Andy Weile of Phoenix who were
both at Miami University when Brendan was there. Both had reached out to our
family in the past saying I want to do something, please find a way to get me
involved. We reached out to the two of them and they hopped on board
immediately, which was great.<span> </span>Then
we spoke with the NHL office to get permission to speak to the various teams.
Then we sent an email out through my father to the other 29 NHL general
managers letting them know what we were doing.<span> </span>The basis of the project, we were what we stood for and
asking players to participate in the project.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Like you said, having the name of Burke is helpful. The players
knew we were on their side. We weren’t going to put them in positions where
they might be uncomfortable or get asked questions that they weren’t fully
educated about.<span> </span>They knew we would
take care of them.<span> </span>That was
something they believed in so we started getting responses from players within
about 48 hours. Players were committing to appear in the video.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: Can I just say, holy shit.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">PB: Pretty cool right?<span>
</span>Pretty nerve wracking! When we sent out the email I was going to law
school and in finals. So when I wasn’t living in the library I was at the rink.
I was sitting in the library and was cc’d on all the emails.<span> </span>So I was seeing all the emails go out,
one at a time, Dear Bob to Bob Murray in Anaheim and Dear Steve to Steve
Yzerman in Tampa Bay.<span> </span>I was
thinking if this doesn’t work I am screwed.<span> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">They all went out. Then I remember I was sitting in the
library doing some work and we got the first email back from a player saying
absolutely, it is something I want to do just tell me what to do and when.<span> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">It was a pretty emotional moment. It was great!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: I have noticed recently on Twitter that you are linking
to It Gets Better. You are making more of a connection with folks who have done
It Gets Better<span> </span>videos. You have
collegiate teams who are signing on and making videos.<span> </span>Oh and by the way, thanks for putting
our Sharks video up on the web page.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: I thought it was great.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: (bragging a little) That was my idea.<span> </span>Emily Hall and I were shooting the bull
one night and I said ‘Well let’s make a movie!’ So over the course of two
games, we were down there, she had written the script, I did the fine tuning on
the script, she did all the tech part and the next thing you know she is
sending it out so thank you!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: I loved the guy who was wearing the shirt that said “I
only look illegal.” That cracked me up.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: I thought that was perfect. That was me in the Sharks
jersey with Jumbo in back of me on the tv.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: I had assumed you were in it.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: So anyway back to my questions, do you have It Gets
Better folks approaching you and wanting to jump on the bandwagon? Are you
making some concerted efforts to reach out to other projects who are working
along the same lines?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: We have heard from other groups, not specifically It
Gets Better.<span> </span>We are very careful
to narrowly tailor our mission.<span> </span>We
only do sports. We don’t do anything else for numerous reasons. So for that
reason there have been groups that have reached out to us and we work with and provide
information. But we will not join an official partnership because their groups
are so much more all encompassing than what ours is.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">We find when we deal with athletes, whether there are
supportive of the whole package of gay rights, marriage equality, workplace
equality, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell which I know has been repealed, those type of
things. Many, many athletes are supportive of that but they don’t want to deal
with it.<span> </span>For lack of better terms,
they don’t want to be in a locker room after a game and have someone stick a
microphone in their face and say <span> </span>“What do you think about the latest gay marriage proposal?”
For the same reason they don’t usually speak out on any political or moral
issue.<span> </span>It’s just not something
that athletes generally do. There are exceptions, of course.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">We find that by narrowly tailoring our mission statement, what
we ask athletes to say and support, we find that athletes are far more willing
to step up and join us. All we ever ask for an athlete to say they he or she
would support a gay teammate. That he or she would treat their teammates with
respect and dignity. <span> </span>If they want
to get involved more beyond than that then we are happy to direct them to the
proper groups who are doing that work.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: What you are saying makes total sense in terms of, like
you said, having someone put a microphone in their face and asking them a
question.<span> </span>I think this is why Tim
Thomas generated so much controversy so quickly. In my mind that was just
something that you just don’t see.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: The athletes, for lots of reasons, are very wary of
speaking out on any political issues most of the time. You see when athletes do
speak up, for whatever side it is, whether it is a very liberal position or
very conservative position what happens,<span>
</span>whether it is Steve Nash speaking up for <span> </span>gay marriage or Tim Thomas saying I am not going to the White
House because I don’t believe in President Obama’s policies.<span> </span>You see whatever side they are on, they
get a heavy amount of criticism that distracts them from their job.<span> </span>We think of this as a sport but for
them it’s their career. For the most part, whatever their point of view, they
don’t want to get involved. Again, I am speaking generally because there are
hundreds of examples of athletes who want to get involved.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">We set out from the beginning we believe there are hundreds
of groups who do wonderful work for gay equality, for LGBT equality in all
different arenas of life and society. We decided right from the start that we
were going to be sports only and safe locker rooms only. We have had some
criticism from people who think we are not being aggressive enough. But we
think it is the most productive way to reach out and get the players involved.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: So to me, granted I have never been in a men’s locker
room, either pre or post game even though my training is as a sport journalist.
But back in those days women did not go into the locker room. So it is left to
my imagination what goes on in there.<span>
</span>But in women’s locker rooms, from my experience in women’s locker rooms,
hockey locker rooms, nobody batted an eye about changing in a room with
lesbians.<span> </span>Right? We are putting
our gear on and just chit chatting about whatever.<span> </span>So my experience is not that homophobia is an issue in
women’s locker rooms. <span> </span>Do you have
a different perception of that?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: From the female athletes we have talked to while getting
this project going and having people reaching out to us, if you asked most male
athletes to rate the homophobia in their locker room, I think you would hear
them say a five to seven with most of being what we call casual homophobia, the
use of homophobic slurs. If you asked most female athletes to rate the level of
homophobia in their locker rooms, you either get a zero or a ten. So we talk to
female athletes when we do outreach to colleges, and hear from sports teams,
from the women’s sports teams and they say we have five lesbians on our team
and it is not an issue at all.<span> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">And you go, well that’s great. But we talk to other sports
teams and they go our locker room is horrifying.<span> </span>Now I hate to sound sexist and generalizing but women get
mean and vicious. And you talk to lesbian athletes who are afraid to come out
and they are talking about horrifying situations where they are being bullied
into staying in the closet by their straight teammates. Where as in the guy’s
locker room it will be more like “oh don’t be gay” and that kind of
language.<span> </span>But in women’s locker
rooms they can get really bad.<span> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">So it is interesting to see the different dynamics between
the men’s and women’s sports whether it is a zero or a ten in the women’s
locker room and I talk to coaches a lot and they can say “We have no problem.
We have had lesbian athletes come through her for years and never had a
problem.”<span> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Then you talk to other coaches and they say “Our locker room
is out of control, we need help. We don’t know what to do.”</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: I am thinking of a college situation. The women’s
basketball coach at Penn State made homophobic remarks to her team.<span> </span>I am sure they have a
non-discrimination policy there and she got fired. Penn State was sued and they
lost because of this coach. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">There are also issues of college recruiters trying to sway
recruits against going to a rival college by suggesting that there are lesbians
at that rival school so they shouldn’t go there.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: We have heard that there is a school in Idaho, where the
women’s basketball coach was being negatively recruited against. We have also
heard similar things in men’s sports, where some coaches have said “Oh they
welcome gay players there. You don’t want to go there.”<span> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">In my mind, any coach that has to resort to that, they are
so clearly out of their element, so clearly incompetent that they probably
should not be working with anyone.<span>
</span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: It doesn’t say much about the quality of their program
if that is what they have to resort to.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: On the Flyers, we never say, “Don’t go to this other
team, they’re terrible.”<span> </span>We sit
down and talk about the strengths of our program are, what the Philadelphia
Flyers can do for you.<span> </span>And that’s
it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">If the player wants to come, that’s great.<span> </span>We would never say don’t go to New
York, they are such an awful franchise. Obviously that isn’t true but we
wouldn’t say it. We’re confident enough in what we do.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">If there are college coaches out there that have to resort
to that, well, if I was a player and heard that, I’d just walk out.<span> </span>Not because not only it is horribly
offensive but that is one coach admitting to a player, I can’t beat that coach.
Straight up.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: So then I am wondering, one of your players was involved
in a controversy at the beginning of the season, Wayne Simmonds, saying
something to Sean Avery.<span> </span>The
league didn’t respond.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: The league did respond. This is what gets lost.<span> </span>It got lost in the white noise that
came out afterwards.<span> </span>I have talked
with numerous people about this. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">The league issued a statement, unequivocally, that from this
point forward, any homophobic slurs would be considered the same as racists
slurs. Players will then be punished accordingly.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">The only reason that Wayne Simmonds did not get punished is
because no one on the ice could or would confirm what he said.<span> </span>The NHL has a long standing policy
against lip reading. The league has a long standing policy that the only way to
suspend someone for something said on the ice, is if an official can confirm
that the words were used.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">The linesmen who were holding Wayne, the referees who were
standing right there, no one could confirm what he said.<span> </span>The NHL issued, this year, a very
strongly worded statement, stating that, putting everyone else on notice, that
going forward, this *&%$ won’t fly.<span>
</span>If players are going to use those words, they are going to get
suspended.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: Well thanks for correcting me on that.<span> </span>I didn’t catch that. I do my best to
pay attention to all the little details, and I sure didn’t catch this.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: Well for obvious reasons I was intimately involved in
the whole process.<span> </span>I certainly got
a lot of grief when I had people say “Oh well you are such an advocate for gay
rights meanwhile you’ve got a player on your own team who did this. I have to
explain it to them over and over.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">If any official on the ice had said Wayne Simmonds, if
anyone could confirm that Wayne Simmonds used the word faggot towards Sean
Avery, he would have been suspended.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Me: Well Avery is not exactly a sympathetic character to try
and rally behind. But thank you for that clarification.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: There was a great statement by Colin Campbell, the vice
president of the NHL. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Campbell’s quote </i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; margin-bottom: 13pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">"To the extent we become aware of additional information conclusively
establishing that an inappropriate slur was invoked, we are reserving the
option to revisit the matter," Campbell said.</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; margin-bottom: 13pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">"All players, coaches and officials in the National Hockey
League deserve the respect of their peers, and have the absolute right to
function in a work environment that is free from racially or sexually-based
innuendo or derision," Campbell said in the statement. "This is the
National Hockey League's policy and it will remain so going forward."</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="color: black; margin-bottom: 13pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;">"It also is important to emphasize that the National Hockey
League holds, and will continue to hold, our players to higher standards with
respect to their conduct both on and off the ice," Campbell said.
"While we recognize that the emotion involved in certain on-ice confrontations
may lead to the use of highly charged and sometimes offensive language and
commentary, certain lines cannot be crossed.</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 13pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="color: blue; font-family: Helvetica;"><span style="color: black;">"We have for many years emphasized to our clubs and players
that commentary directed at the race or ethnicity of other participants in the
game (or even non-participants), or that is otherwise socially or morally
inappropriate or potentially hurtful -- including as it may relate to sexual
orientation -- is absolutely unacceptable and will not be tolerated." </span></span></i><span style="font-family: Helvetica;"></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">My father released a statement that “Colie” (Colin Campbell)
did a great job articulating exactly what the punishment would be, that the NHL
wouldn’t tolerate such a thing. Going forward, all our players are on notice
about this.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: You are right, this got lost in the white noise. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: That’s what happened. People were justifiably outraged
by the use of the term.<span> </span>Then when
the NHL announced that Wayne would not be suspended, everyone freaked out
without reading, ok, here’s why he is not being suspended.<span> </span>Everyone kind of said, how dare they
not suspend somebody?<span> </span>They didn’t
really look in to the reasons for why we can’t suspend him. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">But now, going forward, the official rule of the NHL is that
homophobic slurs are a punishable offense.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">And this goes back to the casual homophobia. Those words are
used. We know those words are used. If those words weren’t used, we wouldn’t
have had to launch. We wouldn’t have needed to do the You Can Play stuff. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">For a long time, and it shouldn’t have been, it was an accepted
part of the culture. Then to one day come out and start suspending guys for it,
instead of putting everyone on notice?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: And doing some education, too.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: I don’t want to say it was unfair but it would be like
two players got into a fight one day and they both got suspended.<span> </span>Then the NHL said we suspend guys for
fights now. And the response would be, well, wait what?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Now everyone is on notice.<span> </span>Now I think our players know why they can’t and shouldn’t
use those words.<span> </span>I think incidents
like that will be few and far between.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: As an example the NHL had Shanahan go around and show
videos of hits to all the teams and what is allowed and not allowed.<span> </span>Everyone knew what to expect.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: Exactly. So the league has done that now and our guys
know.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: So let’s look to the future. Say in five years, an NHL
player decides he wants to live his life openly on the ice and off. You will
have been instrumental in making that happen. So ultimately would that be one
of your goals? Would that be fair to say?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: Well first of all, I don’t think it is going to take
five years. I think we are much closer than that. Our organizational goal is
that all players, at all levels, feel safe coming out. So our goal is that
National Hockey League players feel safe to come out. College players feel safe
to come out.<span> </span>Beer league players
feel safe to come out.<span> </span>High school
players feel safe to come out.<span> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Yeah one of our goals is to get where professional hockey
players and all other sports, professional athletes, are able and willing to
come out and be safe and feel secure. But we are certainly not limited to
professional sports. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">We would like to see a culture shift in sports, at all
levels. When having a gay athlete is no longer a story, that’s what we want.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: I can tell you from being in the Tank when Tommy’s PSA
is being shown the place gets dead silent.<span> </span>People are watching it.<span> </span>There is no uproar over why this is being shown or any
outrage.<span> </span>Fans are taken aback but
they are listening and watching.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: We have gotten some nice stories about ovations in
different cities. It’s not something that historically has been part of going
to a game.<span> </span>I’m not at all
surprised when fans are a little confused with what’s going on here. To see a
player like Tommy stepping up and act in this role is awesome.<span> </span>As the players take leadership roles,
the fans will follow. The younger ones will follow.<span> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">I know from watching them for years that if they are not already,
Shark fans will fall in love with Tommy. Having him on board is great for us.
He is a great kid, we are lucky to have him on board.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">San Jose fans should also know that other Sharks players
have spoken with Tommy about this. They are very supportive. Going forward, Sharks
fans can look forward to seeing more players than Tommy come forward. From the
sound of it, we might have four or five guys doing PSA’s for us. So for Sharks
fans, you will see Tommy but you can look forward to seeing more guys.<span> </span>He is actively recruiting behind the
scenes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">The more we go forward the more we hear from different
athletes.<span> </span>You don’t want to say
guys you wouldn’t expect but, you know, with some guys they would be a pipe
dream, there’s no way they would ever do it. Guys like that are reaching out to
us.<span> </span>Guys reaching out on Twitter
saying how do I get involved? How do I do a video?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">It’s pretty cool seeing so many guys in the National Hockey
League rally around us and have such strong support.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: It gives me a lot of hope. Personally, I have been
through a lot as an activist. Hockey is what keeps me going. So I want to thank
you for what you are doing, it is going to have such an impact on so many
people’s lives. Not everyone can do this and have such a big impact in so many
different ways.<span> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">It is a testimony to you but it is also a testimony to your
brother.<span> </span>Sometimes simple bravery
is about being able to put your feet on the floor in the morning. And tell the
truth.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">I hope there are ways that fans can be helpful. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: As we get more of our plans together, get a little more
grounded with what we are going to do, I am sure there will be ways for you and
other fans to be involved.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">We got plans going in to the summer.<span> </span>The web site itself will have the
capability of fans being able to upload their own videos. That we think will
get more fans involved in that way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Looks like there are going to be regional fund raisers.
There is going to be one in LA for sure.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">As we get in to the fall, looks like we will have our play
book, our resource guide for coaches and athletes, schools and fans. We will
certainly be mobilizing our friends and allies to get those out to their
schools and teachers plus fellow fans and athletes.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: I have to compliment you on your knowledge of even the
right terminology, saying marriage equality, terms like that.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: It took a lot of work, reading a lot of studies,
religious articles, educating myself.<span>
</span>I didn’t want to go out and insult the LGBT community by not knowing
what you are dealing with.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">There are a couple, but not too many groups that have their foot
in both camps, sports and LGBT equality. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Me: I like the fact that there is not a bunch of in fighting
about this. You are being focused and effective.<span> </span>Changing the culture is not an easy undertaking.<span> </span>But I can already see the difference.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: We do not do turf wars with anyone.<span> </span>If there are other groups who do
something better than we do then we are happy to step back and play our role.
We are not going to fight for resources, we are not going to step on anyone’s
toes. If there are things they do better, we are happy to sit on the sideline
and watch.<span> </span>We do not do turf wars.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">GN: Well the funny thing to me is that we are all athletes.
We are competitive.<span> </span>Of course we
want to do the best we can and we want to win.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">PB: Well the thing about me was that I was a lousy
athlete.<span> </span>I had a good work ethic
and leadership but when it came game time I was there to sit on the bench and
make people laugh.<span> </span>Now if someone
is doing something better than us, I will be happy to sit in the back and make
people laugh.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Me: This project, I think, will have a profound effect on
all of us. Please let us know ways we can support You Can Play!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: small;">Thank you so much for all your time!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com52tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-38580533148089871722012-02-14T11:28:00.005-08:002012-02-16T16:22:51.532-08:00Remembering kindness<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9nrMVY5eHRt6ojqhptaUatgv3e3dgZfwISKwBXhenxqDlLhMqc2OsZlazqdYwxvMZaKiGo1o9wQY5jO4VWLsdi8IBKbK-xXwG7qr2aB4RXRawYBiez-opcvlkMOWw1waMcz1jMg/s1600/Phyllis+N.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 302px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9nrMVY5eHRt6ojqhptaUatgv3e3dgZfwISKwBXhenxqDlLhMqc2OsZlazqdYwxvMZaKiGo1o9wQY5jO4VWLsdi8IBKbK-xXwG7qr2aB4RXRawYBiez-opcvlkMOWw1waMcz1jMg/s320/Phyllis+N.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5709893324349543522" /></a><br />It is coming up on a year that Phyllis left us. I have had such a hard time dealing with the loss because I don't think I have fully absorbed the loss. No massive shedding of tears, no weeping like I usually do.<br /><br />Maybe because it was such a long, painful process to watch her suffer I was sad she was leaving but not sad to see the suffering end.<br /><br />Phyllis was really hard to watch. I was over there a lot helping out. The indignities she had to face were humiliating to a woman who had always been so private and dignified. She was the nicest woman I knew. She was married to a man for a long time who was the meanest man I ever knew. She raised her kids by herself and they all turned out to be very nice adults.<br /><br />But the end of the story is sad. A long painful death. Thankfully her suffering was ended and I got to say "I love you." She could and did say the same to me. <br /><br />Many times she told me she felt so safe because I was there with her which seemed odd to me. She was the parent, I had always felt safe with her and the other neighborhood parents. Well not all of them but that is a different story.<br /><br />I am still floundering for words. Maybe the pain is too deep and I still can't get to the real feelings. So I will just say the truth.<br /><br />I loved Phyllis Nirva. She was a kind soul who loved her family and friends in a joyful, unique way that made us all feel really special and really loved. Thank you so much.<br /><br />I hope you are enjoying your time now with Frank Sinatra, Bill Walsh and now Freddie Solomon. I miss you, we all miss you but I am glad you are not suffering any more.miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com58tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-65460897889360794212012-02-12T10:56:00.000-08:002012-02-12T11:19:42.881-08:00I'm going to try againI have disappeared from this site since June of 20111. <br /><br />After a Twitter conversation last night with my brother and padrino of this blog, Andres Duque, I have decided to pull on my big girl pants and get back here.<br /><br />For many moons I have been posting at other blogs, hoping to have my name in lights. As a competitive softball dyke it has always been in my nature to try and rush to the top of the food chain. Most times I have gotten some satisfaction from it but not so much in the blogosphere. I needed to come back to my roots, as Miss Wild Thing, and talk about whatever is relevant to me. Maybe one or two people will read it, maybe not. That has nothing to do with my truth and the writing of my truth here.<br /><br />I also think Whitney Houston's death yesterday had a big impact. She was not the icon in my life the way she is for others(I am so sorry for this loss Chris). I have danced many a joyful night away with Ms Whitney. She gave us incredible music and some not so pretty sights into her personal life. There have been loud whispers of her secret life with women. That is really none of my business.<br /><br />What was obvious to me was that she was sick. Sick in the same way I am sick with addiction. I cannot drink one beer, there has to be more. I can't have a little of a drink, there has to be way more. <br /><br />But through the help of many many people, I have managed to stay sober for 24 years. One day at a time, I haven't drank or used drugs for entertainment. This is a disease I have. Whitney Houston had the same disease.<br /><br />There is no proof yet that she is dead because of her alcohol and drug use. People are waiting breathlessly to proclaim her death was due to her inability to have some sort of control. A glaring defect to show how she wasn't perfect, she had flaws like the rest of us. Why do so many want to demonize her?<br /><br />It is tragic to lose any person to this disease. It is tragic to lose people to cancer too but I don't see or hear fault and blame pointed at people with cancer. Why should that happen?<br /><br />But there are many fingers pointed at those of us who suffer from addiction, diabetes and AIDS. After all, if we just showed some restraint these things wouldn't happen. If I just stopped drinking Dr Pepper earlier I wouldn't have gotten diabetes. If I exercised more I wouldn't have heart stents now.<br /><br />Well know what? Health issues happen to everyone. The moralizing around certain diseases is certainly a response by many to prove their own superiority. They didn't get heart disease because they eat right and do everything else just right.<br /><br />Bullshit.<br /><br />Shit happens.<br /><br />We would be a much more gracious people if we wept when someone was lost without judging them, tried to help the poor, took care of the sick and kept our side of the street clean. We are all doing the best we can do, don't judge.<br /><br />Stay out of my marriage, my womb, my body I didn't invite you in.<br /><br />So I will offer one up for Whitney today. I know that there but for the grace of God go I. Rest in peace, sister. You did the best you could do. Thanks for the beauty and songs you left as a gift.miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-88618186124342862312011-06-15T13:59:00.000-07:002011-06-15T14:01:25.502-07:00Interview with the new director of Equality CaliforniaInterview with Roland Polencio<br /><br />Me: Tell me what your history is? I understand you are Guatemalan.<br /><br />RP: Yes, I was born and raised in Guatemala. My family was very politically involved. My father was one of those people, he was a small businessman and also a revolutionary. And he wanted to basically get rid of the military dictatorship that Guatemalans had been living with for many decades. So he was killed. I also had another cousin who was 18 when she was killed. My father was disappeared for quite a while until we found his remains. <br /><br />You know many of my family members went into exile. Some went to Mexico City, Australia, Spain and Vancouver, Canada. Most of them are in Vancouver, Canada and Mexico City now.<br /><br />My mom was concerned about our safety. She came to the US and she eventually brought us. <br /><br />The US was providing military aid to Guatemala at that time. So Central Americans were not really eligible for political asylum so when I came here I was almost 18, I was already an adult. <br /><br />I eventually went to UCLA. That is when I started to come out as a gay man. You know colleges and universities are the environment where many of us find ourselves. Also I got a sense of what being a Latino in the US was. Obviously I felt this sharp contrast with my family who were small businesses. We were not rich but we were somewhat prosperous. Basically here there is the sharp discrimination that many immigrants feel that kind of shaped my consciousness and that along that with the fact that I was coming out as gay Latino man really got me to really think about what I wanted to do. About the conversations that people have about both immigrants and LGBT people. <br /><br />So in 1982, I was one of the co-founders of Gay and Lesbian Latinos Unidos. Which eventually created the leadership that helped to found Bienestar. I don’t know if you know Oscar De La O but he was the founder of Bienestar.<br /><br />Me: right<br /><br />RP:A lot of that leadership came out of GLLU and of course, many of them are dead now. Many of them died of HIV and AIDS. I lost, I don’t know, seven out of 10 friends. It was a huge epidemic and it hit the activist community really hard. So it was unfortunate about that, aside from the human suffering, just the pain that the pain the community had. <br /><br />I can think of Jose Ramirez. He was Newyorican. He was one of those individuals who really involved in the civil rights movement. Many involved with the United Farm Workers. They really had a connection to the civil rights movement. I think that we lost that whole generation. And we lost the consciousness and the solidarity thinking that came along with that.<br /><br />Me: You know I have also been of the opinion that men of that age. I wouldn’t say my numbers were as high as what you are talking about but definitely, I talk about men who I should be growing old with who are not here anymore. I also think because we all grew up with the feminist movement that there was a lot more solidarity with women.<br /><br />RP: Absolutely<br /><br />Me: and being able to operate from basic feminist principles of inclusion and equality, that losing so many of that generation, there was a loss of transferring that information, those principles and experience to younger men.<br /><br />RP: So the hand off in terms of certain values, the basic tenets of the solidarity movement, that whole notion of interconnection and intersecting movements was lost, we lost a lot of that.<br /><br />I don’t think we have analyzed the huge impact that the loss of that generation has had on the movement and where we are now. I can think of Frank Mendiola who was a farm worker child. He was raised in the farms and he became a union activists. He was the one who organized the Gay and Lesbian Center. He was like 24 and he was organizing the biggest LGBT institution. <br /><br />So that is part of my history.<br /><br />In the late 80’s I founded VIVA along with other friends. That was basically and LGBT artists organization. <br /><br />Me: And then you are a founder of HONOR PAC too?<br /><br />RP: No, I am not a founder of HONORPAC. I am on the advisory board.<br /><br />Me: Oh OK.<br /><br />RP: The main thing about VIVA is that so many of our gay brothers were dying that we created that organization to make sure that we kept their art and memories alive.<br /><br />One of the impetus for that is that so many gay Latino men were dying we got Latinas and Latinos involved and to really promote our art and the expanded consciousness that comes along with that. So that went on for like four or five years. <br /><br />Then I went to work at the AIDS Healthcare Foundation. I was the vice president and chief of operations. Between being a consultant and a full time employee, I was there about eight years. <br /><br />And then I went to La Clinica Monseñor Oscar Romero. I was the Executive Director there. I was the E.D. for four and a half years.<br /><br />After that I started my philanthropic work with the foundations. I became the senior program officer at the California Endowment. <br /><br />Now I have been appointed as the next Executive Director of Equality California.<br /><br />Me: Well that is quite the story.<br /><br />RP: It’s a lot.<br /><br />Me: You’ve gotten a lot done.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Me: The Prop 8 campaign did not turn out the way we wanted it to. I am curious what you were able to do at that time. How were you able to help?<br /><br />RP: I think I am one of those people who wish we had done more. I also know that there were a lot of blind spots. Things that campaign could have done a lot better. We all have learned a lot of lessons from that. I think that one of the lessons we learned was that we have to talk to the people. <br /><br />You know we can’t do these things in a vacuum. WE have to have these one to one conversations in all kinds of community and all kinds of languages. We also have to understand that our opponents are very organized and very powerful and they have a lot of money. They have basically built in infrastructure of churches that are not on our side that they can turn on and turn off. So I was one of those people who was not as involved.<br /><br />I think it is important to acknowledge that. I gave some money and made some phone calls. I remember on election day I was educating voters. It was outside the voting booths within the legal limits. I was out there for about 10 hours. At the end of the day, they wanted to arrest me. I was definitely involved.<br /><br />I was involved in the Obama campaign. I went to Nevada to knock on doors. I was involved in the Obama campaign a lot more than the Prop 8 campaign. <br /><br />Me: Just in terms of my own experience, I have to say that this campaign definitely scarred me. I have to say this was because of the really bad treatment I got from Equality California and I mean really bad treatment. Here I was running a hunk of the campaign here in San Jose, got talked to like I was a dog. Talked to incredibly disrespectfully, couldn’t get any resources. I would get resources from people in other counties. I would drive to Santa Cruz to get yard signs. You know that is now way to run a campaign.<br /><br />There was an evening when some of the labor folks had brought hotel maids to help with phone banking. We did not have a Spanish script. So they were reduced to emptying the garbage cans and cleaning up. I was crying and crying and crying that night. I still apologize to the union people for that.<br /><br />Then campaign staff person says that they have to check on any scripts to make sure they are culturally competent. Of course! My response in my head though was fuck you, fuck you for treating my folks like this. <br /><br />I worked with Luis (Lopez, currently a candidate for state Assembly) to get window signs in Spanish. We generated these signs and offered to folks in San Francisco. We also got them done in Vietnamese, too. We got them out all through San Jose. <br /><br />I offered them to San Francisco and never heard a word. Nothing.<br /><br />RP: That should have never happened.<br /><br />Me: No!!!<br /><br />RP: Those are stories of things that should have never happened. By the way, my activism was with HONOR PAC, not necessarily with the bigger campaign.<br /><br />Me: But why did HonorPAC have an office in LA, the were the only ones with an office in LA? <br /><br />RP: They got some space from Supervisor (Gloria) Molina. <br /><br />Me: I know but I am just saying that the campaign never opened up anything in LA.<br /><br />RP: Correct. There was a relationship. If we go back in 2012, which is going to be a daunting task, these things need to be in place.<br /><br />Me: Well this brings me to my next question. What can you do to heal what has happened between the campaign and Equality California? As much as I am enjoying talking to you now, there is a trust issue that cannot be solved in one phone call. I have other people who are waiting to see and hear this interview. My relationship with Equality California, and the is just one activist who has good credentials. I have knowledge but was never allowed to the table. <br />So I have two questions. What are you going to do to heal this gigantic rift which first of all needs to be recognized? But second, how can you change the perception in the state? Because you have a board where you have to pay to play. It is not representative. As much as I love Dolores (Huerta), she is not my representative. To me there are problems in terms of communication and representation.<br /><br />RP: No, those are real issues. I think the fact that I have been involved in the community for so long I understand some of the issues. I want to meet with people. I want to hear what people have to say. I want to have a conversation. How do we integrate activists more in to the organization and figure out a way so that is a part of what we do? <br /><br />The reality is that we don’t have a common conversation. We don’t have a language we can in some ways that we can converse around. You know what I am saying?<br /><br />Me: Yes<br /><br />RP: So we are going to have create that, little by little or however it is. There’s a question of access. Who has access, what kind of resources? What kind of decision making? I think that is going to be an issue that we really have to think about.<br /><br />The other thing is I really want to create a different framework in terms of how we approach our community engagement. By that I mean we need to take up issues that matter to all of our communities. So for instance, health care. I have been involved in health care. We have to expand our notion of what community issues are. I think marriage is definitely an important issue. It is a critical one. <br /><br />In addition to it being a civil rights issue, it is an economic issue. We know that families that are legally protected also have a better chance of being economically stable, especially those families with children. So we have to frame this as a civil rights issue but as an economic justice issue.<br /><br />We need to take up other issues that hugely impact our communities and I mean all our communities. Health care is definitely one. Access to affordable health care is a big issue in our community. We have an opportunity with health care reform to create alliances and to create coalitions that have one goal. That one goal is to create access to affordable health care.<br /><br />Right now the state of California got $10 billion to do a program over the next three years called Bridge to Reform. <br /><br />Me: I am on the board of the Santa Cruz Women’s Health Center so I am really aware of that program. <br /><br />RP: So you know that one of the goals is to enroll 500,000 people before 2014. I think we need to be part of those efforts. We need to demonstrate our competence in other areas that impact. That’s one approach that I think is going to help to definitely start creating coalitions. <br /><br />Health care will impact women, people of color, single gay men, married LGBT couples. I mean you name it. There are close to 7 million Californians who do not have health care. I mean that’s a huge number of people affected. This is rich with opportunities for coalition work and to provide palpable benefits to our communities.<br /><br />Another one is education. There are issues I need to vet with the board. We know that education is the big equalizer or at least has the potential to be. <br /><br />We also know that having access to higher education is a seminal experience for LGBT people. Most of us came out in college where we were able to get away from our families a little bit, from our traditional settings, rural, urban, what have you. We started to find people like us, people we could relate to in a number of ways. So for many of us, we came out in college. Obviously, kids are coming out a lot earlier. <br /><br />Aside from the fact that it is an economic justice issue to have access to an affordable, quality education, it is also part of our movement. It is where we shape our identities as activists many times. So this whole thing that is going on with the community colleges, 400,000 fewer students are going to be able access community colleges in the fall of 2011. I think that is like a stake through the heart of our movement. That means 400,000 fewer students are not going to have access to an education. This will have an economic impact and I think this is an economic justice issue. <br /><br />But also in terms of activism, it really will deplete our troops. We have to start linking these things. We have to start looking at the fact that all these things are connected. All these things impact us in terms of civil rights and economic justice. <br /><br />The other thing is I think, that and the reason why I am saying civil rights and economic justice we have to create a movement that is not only about civil rights. It is definitely about civil rights. But it is about economic justice. If we don’t take care of the economic justice part of it, we will have an incomplete civil rights movement. <br /><br />I think that one of the reasons why we still have a Latino underclass and an African American underclass and poor, white underclass is because we haven’t really dealt with the issues of economic justice. I think we need to go beyond the civil rights issues.<br /><br />Me: You are making me cry. This is where so many of us live, having a commitment to full social justice. When the Arizona law first got passed,(SB 1070, anti-immigrant bill) I wrote something for Karen’s blog (lgbtpov.com). I just got attacked with people saying immigration is not an LGBT issue. I am just wondering, what are you going to do? I don’t know that the organization is prepared.<br /><br />RP: By the way, I don’t start the job until July 5th so I am just starting to figure these things out. But I know for a fact that they have a Beyond Borders outreach program. Part of that is to start educating the community on immigration issues, to start getting activists sharing with each other and to do coalition work. Equality California got a lot of flak for opposing the Arizona law. They got a lot of hate mail. I think that is a good sign. <br /><br />Immigration is a civil rights and economic justice issue. We have to frame in that way. It is a civil rights issue because the rights of people are being trampled upon. No human being is illegal. That is such a demeaning and dehumanizing term. <br /><br />But also it is an economic justice issue. Our economy depends a lot on that labor. We have a consumer society that loves cheap things, inexpensive things. Well, we, in some ways, are conspirators to having undocumented labor. The only way the system can produce what consumers want is if we lower the wages of those people who produce those things whether it is here in the US or outside. And we are saying “Fine.” If all of us benefit from having less expensive food and clothing, from less expensive housing then you can go down the line and document what undocumented labor contributes to the economy. Then we need to take care of those individuals who create those benefits for us. <br /><br />It is a hard conversation to have but I think we need to have that conversation. I mean the same people who are putting the anti-gay propositions on the ballot are the same people who are anti-immigrant. <br /><br />So if the gay movement becomes anti-immigrant we are basically strengthening our enemies. We need to be really watchful about that.<br /><br />We have what I would call a hypocrisy economy where we want the benefits of the hands of the labor, the undocumented labor where we want the hands but not the whole body. <br /><br />Me: I have a question about the education bill that was moving in Sacramento. I was wondering why there wasn’t more of an effort to educate us about what was going on in Sacramento, the wins in Sacramento? I think the effort was being done just through social networks. I hope you will address that because that is not an inclusive way of communicating. About the wins and the losses. I would like to see more of an effort to educate us and for us to go show and lobby. I would like to have diverse people show up.<br /><br />RP: We have to figure that out and somehow work on creating a mechanism to have people more involved, more informed with the tool so we can create that movement that we are talking about. I think that will be a real challenge. How do we create that loop with communities and with individuals who want to be involved and make a difference. <br />We have to look at the legislation. You were asking me about how to get more connected to the community. Of course there is a process. It will not happen overnight. I was giving you a framework and an approach.<br /><br />Equality California has passed about 71 bills. We need to do an analysis in terms of what does this mean about localities. We need to see if these bills create partnerships with local activists to start implementing those at a local level so that it really has an impact on the quality of life in those communities. It is not going to be in every community but we have the ability to not take over but can be the nervous system, connecting the synergy with best practices. To share what does work, what doesn’t work. To find out what is unique about one place, to know what is not unique about one place. I really want to create that network, that nervous system, that backbone to connecting our California movement a little bit more.<br /><br />Me: I don’t know that this is Equality California’s job but there seems to be a lot of functioning Latino LGBT organizations in southern California but there is nothing up in northern California. A friend of mine in San Francisco and I tried last year to start a Latino LGBT organization up here. We couldn’t get a fiscal sponsor. We couldn’t get anybody to do that. It just seems like in part of the conversations it seems like it would be a natural fit for you and the rest of the staff could be hooking up people from different parts of the state so we can be having conversations about how do we work, how are we more effective and how to work together to be more united.<br /><br />And if, oh gawd, we have to go back to the ballot in 2012, what are we going to do? For me, 2012 is too soon anyway. <br /><br />RP: I have some thoughts. We are in a quandary. We are in a quandary. On one hand we have a Presidential election that gives us an opportunity to get a lot of progressive people out there to vote. Also, we had a bit of a generational shift because we had younger people, we had a number of Latinos become voters. We had a sizeable Latino generational shift.<br /><br />Then we have Obama saying that he is evolving on the issue of marriage equality. That’s an indication that he might actually come out for marriage equality. We don’t know that but it is putting everyone on notice. They are not challenging DOMA. They were really strong on DADT. This is the holy trinity of issues: marriage, military and DOMA. So this is the only missing piece in that triad of issues. So that’s the opportunity.<br /><br />The challenges are this election is 18 months from now. We are supposed to have a game plan. We are supposed to have a fund raising plan. We supposed to have our community united, including our allies. <br /><br />Ninety percent of our pro-equality votes are going to come from our allies. The unions are supportive. The faith based communities, the civil rights organizations. The elected officials, you name it, right? We want to know that those allies are going to be there with us. <br /><br />The unions have their own struggles going on. They are fighting for their lives. Not as much in California but certainly they are starting to feel the pressure. <br /><br />Then we have to add this other piece – the lawsuit. Lots of resources have been shifted to that. They have raised millions and millions. Lots of the pro-equality money has already been invested in this lawsuit. They might not be as comfortable funding a ballot initiative in 2012. <br /><br />This is a very complicated situation where you have tremendous opportunities and tremendous challenges. I think that part of the town hall meetings is to get some of that information but also to have to go outside of our community as well. Like I said, we depend on the 90% or so that are not just coming from our community. <br /><br />Me: Here, Santa Clara county went for Prop 22 way back when. We flipped this county by like 32 points. I will say because I was outside the campaign that I could run the campaign in a way that I knew was more effective. <br /><br />RP: So you had your ear to the ground.<br /><br />Me: Exactly. A lot of people don’t know this about Silicon Valley. But 64% of the population is either immigrant or children of immigrants. We have the largest population of Vietnamese outside of Vietnam. Obviously it was critical that we get things out in Vietnamese. We had people out there talking about it. <br /><br />That is one of the reasons we were able to change the vote here because of our relationships with the API (Asian Pacific Islander) community. Right now I am working with a group called Asian Americans for Community Involvement (AACI) to talk about immigration issues here in Silicon Valley. So I am the only non-Asian in the group. But I am doing outreach into the LGBT community, working collaboratively with the biggest Asian group here. So for me that is what it needs to look like – Latinos and Asians working collaboratively in the state of California.<br /><br />RP: I have just a little more time left. I am just so glad that we connected. We shall continue our conversations.<br /><br />Me: I have two questions. Three questions. Are you familiar with how some Latinos in New York state are pounding on us against marriage? Reverend Ruben Diaz, who is an elected official in the state house. He is really homophobic. Last week he had a rally.<br /><br />RP: I have heard of him but I am not as intimately acquainted with him or what he is doing there.<br /><br />Me: When I publish this on Andres’s blog you should read the other items on his blog. I will forward you the link so you can see what they are dealing with in New York.<br /><br />I am working with him on this interview because he has a huge Latino readership. He does work in both Spanish and English and monitors the press in Latin America.<br /><br />The last question I have for you, are you going to be moving up here?<br /><br />RP: I am going to be based in Los Angeles. But I will be traveling throughout the state. <br /><br />Me: So then the center of the gay universe will be in WeHo now?<br /><br />RP: You could say that (laughing). That is one of the things I am looking forward to. I am LA based. I looking forward to working with people around the state.<br /><br />I went to the Courage Campaign’s training in Fresno. We take so much for granted in LA. I was so moved by the courage and passion of people in the Central Valley. It was like going back to the 1950’s. I was just so impressed with the passion and commitment. That inspired me for months. Well even today. It was very touching. I was very touched.<br /><br />Me: I am glad to hear that. I have really enjoyed this conversation. Thank you for your time.<br /><br />RP: Thank you. I am sure we will talk again.miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-69711283257953480362011-06-15T13:41:00.000-07:002011-06-15T13:42:46.505-07:00Let's Go Sharks!Here's something quick and easy you can do. Please pass this on also. I have started a petition on the Change.org web site asking the San Jose Sharks to do an It Gets Better video. Since the Gigantes were the first professional team to make a video (way to go Sean Chapin), the Sharks can be the first National Hockey League team to produce a positive message in the United States and Canada.<br /><br />The link is <a href="http://www.change.org/petitions/san-jose-sharks-please-make-an-it-gets-better-video?utm_medium=facebook&utm_source=share_petition&utm_term=own_wall">here</a>.<br /><br />Let's go Sharks!miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-74670485863059578862010-12-26T17:38:00.000-08:002010-12-26T17:39:44.943-08:00Another light gone outHe left the day after Christmas. The father of eight was always devoted to the kids. I am sure he wanted to see them and all the grandchildren at Christmas and leave after that.<br /><br />Of course, we won't really know because the dementia had taken his beautiful, loving mind a while ago. Gone were the days when he could read and write, savoring the turn of a phrase, the events of the days and the memories. All the memories were gone.<br /><br />The house had always been a jumble of eight children, shouts, laughter, meals seated at long benches with powdered milk served with lots of love. Of course it wasn't just their kids, it was the friends, the cousins, the grandparents all those who were enveloped in the arms of this household.<br /><br />There were the weddings, the coming out, the birth of babies, the graduations. There was the great tragedy when one of the grandchildren died at 16 months. All the chapters of a life, of a family, were all there in the house.<br /><br />And now the gentle man with the kind eyes, the ready nicknames for all of us, the man who was always willing to listen and laugh, has left us on the day after Christmas. He was so considerate up to the end.<br /><br />The hole is great in all our hearts, the ones he touched. The sorrow will be there for a long time because we won't see him again with the apron on in the kitchen, washing out all the big pans after making tamales, cooking up the ham for a feast to share. We won't hear his lovely laugh, nor be able to just say hi.<br /><br />But he is with his grandson who left us too soon, with his beloved father who taught everyone to smoke cigars and be able to defend our opinions, he is with my father and petting my departed dogs. He has gone ahead now.<br /><br />No more suffering, his mind has been restored in another place. He is holding his grandson, together again.<br /><br />What a legacy to leave, so much love, so much laughter. So many hearts touched by his life. We know the world has a little less light with his passing. Thank you for your life well lived and loved.miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-49733887506300301282010-12-18T12:37:00.001-08:002010-12-18T14:35:06.336-08:00From the front row in Kabul<span style="font-style:italic;">This is a letter from a friend who is working in Kabul. She has an extraordinary view from where she sits.<span style="font-weight:bold;"></span></span><br /><br />Dear Glo,<br /><br />Every year we spend billions of dollars working to restore a nation’s dignity, yet with that noble purpose we often fail to separate the needs of a people from the cultural wants of the west. With neither side receiving what it needs or what it wants. In turn we have created almost a vicious cycle of abusive giving that is comparable to force feeding a diabetic sugar or giving a bottle of vodka to an alcoholic. Our nation for its greatness is missing the point and the Afghan people who are dear to my heart continue to suffer because of it and the western need for instant gratification and the notion that money solves all problems continnues to fail.<br /><br />This is not the fault of the men and women in uniform, the average Afghan going about their daily lives or even many of those involved in legitimate aid endeavors. Often it comes from pressure from large companies who use donor money to put their employees up in $20,000 dollar a month poppy-palaces with a security firm that carries an even larger price tag. Security people who tell everybody the sky is falling in order to keep their contracts and thus their jobs. These companies receive money that they must ‘burn’ in order to keep their contract. In many cases are talking about millions of dollars a day total.<br /><br />Case in point the Afghan Supreme Court has a budget this year if I remember correctly of eight million United States Dollars it has only been able to burn nearly 800 thousand of that. One international donor wants to commit to 300 million over the next three years. Seriously, the court because of lack of capacity brought on by a thirty-year interruption in the education system does not have the capacity to absorb that amount much less burn it at the donors desired rate. If that 300 million was to be committed over the next thirty years that may be a more appropriate amount of time to allow the proper roll out and evolution of the judicial process. It would also give time for the educational system to catch and capacity to be slowly built. With this in mind using the current burn rate the west is trying to purchase three hundred years of judicial tradition in three years, to me that does not seem logical.<br /><br />Western donors fail to look at their own history to guide them in the financial process of nation building. 200 years ago the United States was an even younger nation and it had its own set of issues that it has been trying even to this day resolve. The French and the Spanish at that time did not come in and try to retro fit and purchase our system. They for the most part left us alone to build our nation giving appropriate aid when needed and a cadre of well qualified and committed expertise. We need to stop trying the instant soup approach and realize that money builds roads, schools and utilities, but only the hard work and determination of people against advisories great and small truly build a nation.<br /><br />We The People are frustrated and the Afghan people are frustrated. In order to help bring justice to the people of Afghanistan we must take a cold hard look at how we distribute aid. We must demand a break in the status quo of the apparatus of the major international donors first by looking at our own foreign aid distributer USAID and its underlying, unjust, and abusive funding and reporting polices. More small projects need our support where the Afghan people are involved and not subjugated to the agenda of large ‘ for profit aid organizations’ who are nothing but a front of the corporate machine. Paying off people only creates socio-economic disparities, humiliates the ones who have not and fuels insurgencies. <br /><br />The aid must be long term because YES the people of Afghanistan need it but they need it for the next thirty years and in more careful and just amounts. Our role as a nations should be that of a steward and not of a company trying to hush the situation by throwing money at it.miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-67711901146858821462010-07-29T11:05:00.001-07:002010-07-29T11:05:54.516-07:00Liberation for meI need to liberate myself. I have been involved in liberation movements for the majority of my adult life – lgbt immigration, race, living wage. But today I need to liberate myself from me.<br /><br />I am 55 years old. I have not had a job for the better part of the last three years so I have no more unemployment. The two federal legislators I talked to at netroots had no idea that there is a group of people who have run out of unemployment. <br /><br />This terrifies me.<br /><br />There are now people in the movement who are making gigundous amounts of money for work that I have done for free for decades. This pisses me off. I feel pushed to the side and all the work I have done amounts to nothing because a new generation apparently just invented activism. So all the lessons learned, battles won and lost mean nothing. We are pushed to the side, living in poverty and wondering what will come next. The streets, starvation, stress of unknown proportions?<br /><br />The truth that liberates me though is this: there is nothing I can do about it. I am completely and totally powerless. <br /><br />The movement will continue without me and others who have come before who have won and passed laws, won and made lives better, won and gave hope. I can’t do anything about it.<br /><br />Except tell the truth.<br /><br />I am afraid.<br /><br />So with this confession, I have to say that whatever amount of money people are making in whatever large amounts those are, all of that is none of my business. When I get obsessed with what other people are doing it is because I am afraid for my own future and what will become of me. When I focus on others I don’t have to look at what has become of me.<br /><br />But the truth is also that this hurts my feelings, a lot. I am friends with a lot of people around the country. It really makes me sad that so many things are happening and no one invites me and my peers anymore for our thoughts or ideas. I am old news, literally.<br /><br />Those of us in the 50+ age range can’t get jobs, are losing all we have built up over the years and are struggling with the world as it has become. Nothing is fair. (Not that life ever was fair. When we lost so many of our brothers we were very clear that life wasn’t fair.)<br /><br />So now that I am liberating myself, I hope to breathe a little easier, think a lot more about those around me and less on people and things that are none of my business. <br /><br />In the meantime keep your fingers crossed that there are more jobs for people everywhere. All our ships will rise together.miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-49605547591025065702010-07-29T10:17:00.000-07:002010-07-29T10:20:34.447-07:00From Netroots Nation<a href="http://theunapologeticmexican.org/elmachete/2010/07/29/news-with-nezua-the-illegal-europeans/"></a><br /><br />This includes a video taken by the folks who staged an action at lunch at Netroots one afternoon. The action was effective and showed an ugly side of the progressive movement that many of us know already, white privilege. The video includes lgbt people.miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-13045878303306423072010-07-07T16:05:00.000-07:002010-07-07T16:11:52.612-07:00More of the same<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAaxmxT0lvyl9Ktiin5lV-m29ihsHfB5tAG1XNJVAhu6RuRDmVkzui_i88KnGRUvxz648vGWTyWE1CUQSwNY-vS6RWWgFBzE-6NbLdXvKn6ULxc_nH9anAozr2fO4KTAzSAe71iA/s1600/P6180001.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAaxmxT0lvyl9Ktiin5lV-m29ihsHfB5tAG1XNJVAhu6RuRDmVkzui_i88KnGRUvxz648vGWTyWE1CUQSwNY-vS6RWWgFBzE-6NbLdXvKn6ULxc_nH9anAozr2fO4KTAzSAe71iA/s320/P6180001.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5491305778163541394" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">On June 30, the Department of Labor released new, state-by-state numbers on how many workers have been cumulatively affected by Congress' inability to extend long-term unemployment benefits. As of July 3, an estimated 1.7 million workers will lose their benefits. If this drags on through July, a total of 3.2 million workers will lose their benefits. – Center for American Progress</span><br /><br />Independence Day weekend is for many people a long, leisurely time off to enjoy the bounty of employment. Barbecues, going to the beach (if they are close enough), swimming, boating, picnics by water are all on the menu this holiday weekend. Maybe not so much for the millions of Americans like myself who are out of work and with no unemployment coming in the near future.<br /><br />Millions of Americans, millions includes LGBT Americans with no safety net. As I have written before, this still includes me.<br /><br />This is obviously a frustrating situation for the country and all the people affected by this hideous financial situation. Depression, anger, hopelessness are all obvious traits of the unemployed. Those around us are also impacted, watching family and friends struggling, creating an even larger sense of hopelessness and frustration.<br /><br />I have spent some time looking at the considerable amount of information available about this Depression. (I am done saying it is a recession. Time to call it what it is, a depression.) I am not an economist but I am an unemployment statistic. I wonder if I am wondering if I fall in the “given up looking for work” category even though I look every day. But apparently large numbers of people fall into that category weekly because of the amount of time we are jobless.<br /><br />This is the big light bulb for me about this depression. If people like me don’t have money, we can’t spend something we don’t have. Duh, right? But this impacts all the small businesses who usually create jobs because no one is spending money. Therefore they cannot hire people like me.<br /><br />It is a seesaw. There is no balance where both parties sit level. It is seesaw that has stopped either seeing or sawing. It cannot move because as <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/05/opinion/05krugman.html?_r=1">Krugman</a> has pointed out, our Congress is full of “the coalition of the heartless, the clueless and the confused.”<br /><br />These same people have the same attitude toward us as LGBT people in this country. They vote against us every chance they get, they have no desire to meet let alone befriend an lgbt person. And the confused, see Mormon Church, separation of church and state. Also thou shalt not lie.<br /><br />And now this same administration who does not take the battle of the unemployed to the Congress to fight for us is doing the exact same thing for us as lgbt people, nada. Oh yes, there have been a couple of cocktail parties in the White House, a small media klatch for those who could afford to go to DC on short notice and an lgbt round table at Labor with no unemployed lgbt people present. Yup, that is a long list of token efforts. Well, not really. <br /><br />Since Barack Obama was elected, I have lost my home, gone over a year without a job and now have no unemployment insurance, no income. I am on food stamps. More of this is coming without anyone breaking a sweat about it in the White House except for the fact that it is sweltering in DC right now. Fierce advocate? Not even.<br /><br />So I am going to connect the dots that seem obvious to me. We are depending on the same people for our equal rights who have not come even close to providing the promise of this country. If we worked hard and made some contributions to our communities there would be an agreement of security when things went bad. <br /><br />Thanks to “the coalition of the heartless, the clueless and the confused”, who all went home for bbq’s in their home states while leaving millions unable to pay their bills or maybe even eat, let alone barbecue, the anxiety level of all Americans went up. <br /><br />Many moons ago when I worked at a non-profit in the barrio, a family came to us with their baby. The baby had a bread bag for a diaper because the family didn’t have money for diapers. They tried to give the baby to us because they were so sure their poverty would be the end of their baby. They loved this little girl so much they tried to give her to people who they though could take care of her.<br /><br />I wept that day and I weep today thinking about how many families in this, the richest country in the world, can have a government that can be so heartless to leave us all without any hope. <br /><br />Where is our President, he of the golden oratory but lack of drive? Where is the hope from the White House? Where is the pressure to deliver hope and equality from this administration? Missing in action. <br /><br />I know what it looks like for a person to be working for our greater good. I haven’t seen it. I had such hope in 2008. Now all I have is hope that my food stamps come through this week.miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-23493151934614531482010-05-02T15:10:00.000-07:002010-05-02T15:11:27.674-07:00An Open Letter to My SenatorsMay 2, 2010<br /><br />Dear Senators Boxer and Feinstein:<br /><br />My last unemployment check came the first week of April.<br /><br />Yesterday I went out to talk to someone about some work and I could not find her. I almost ran out of gas trying to find her.<br /><br />After putting a little bit of gas in my car so I could continue looking for work this week, I now have $7 left.<br /><br />I have been unemployed for over a year. Despite what lots of nasty people say, I do not sit around waiting on that check to come. I have interviewed on numerous occasions only to finish second every time.<br /><br />Maybe I am too old to work again, after all I have hit the magic number of 55 where apparently employers draw the invisible line. All my peers without work are experiencing the same phenomenon, we are all too old. Of course no one is going to come right out and create a law suit for themselves by admitting this.<br /><br />However, look at the fastest growing age group and they we are. Friends in IT tell me they are terrified of losing their job if they have gray hair.<br /><br />I make a lot of effort to give back to my community. Last weekend I volunteered with the local La Mesa Verde program to assist a family planting a garden in its back yard to produce their own healthy food.<br /><br />But Senators, where is the understanding from Washington that so many people are hurting? We need another unemployment extension. It is time to act on our behalf, without fear, the same way we have to face each day, despite rejection after rejection.<br /><br />We, the unemployed, are staring over a precipice, looking at loss after loss. Our homes gone, our lives destroyed through greed, avarice and an uncaring system that has spit us out as collateral damage, unneeded any longer. We need you to listen to the pain, the anguish. the cries of us weeping from all the loss.<br /><br />That was me crying in my room last night, maybe you heard me? No one in DC seems to hear those moments of terror and pain and loss. Did someone hear us?<br /><br />I was wondering what I was going to do on Monday with $7. Eat maybe? Probably not.<br /><br />Perhaps someone could see into my room last night as I lay weeping on my floor, asking for someone to believe in.<br /><br />Please do something to help. Really, our lives depend on you.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Gloriamiss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-45007494792950198102010-04-28T19:59:00.000-07:002010-04-28T20:09:32.931-07:00AZ part 1“It is open season on the Latino community in Arizona. In Phoenix, Tucson, and across the state, people in Latino neighborhoods are afraid to leave their houses, afraid to be apart from their children for even a minute, and afraid to walk the streets because they feel their arrest on suspicion of being an undocumented immigrant could happen at any moment. It is a horrifying glimpse at what our future holds across the country if we continue down the path the Obama administration is leading us on immigration.” – Congressman Luis Gutierrez, Huffington Post<br /> <br />This election season has seen the return of the scourge of the Mexican immigrant, the identified source of all problems in the United States. The state of Arizona has seen fit to pass a clearly unconstitutional law giving law enforcement virtually unlimited power to question and detain any person they want, demanding ID’s birth certificates, green cards. The bill, SB 1070, while not signed by the governor yet, sits as a sword of Damocles over the head of the Latino community in Arizona.<br /><br />So, can’t they do that anyway? Well, yes police should be able to question “suspicious” people, monitoring people with criminal records, acting suspiciously not just because that person is brown. <br /><br />Law enforcement used to do the same things to gay and lesbian people many moons ago. There were the laws that prevented two people of the same gender from dancing together. We could not gather in places for socializing without fear of police raids. Anyone remember Stonewall? Our forefathers and foremothers always faced the threat of arrest for gathering in a public place.<br /><br />Many of us sit at that intersection of being brown and queer. We are either immigrants, children of immigrants or grandchildren of immigrants. In a country where grown men are parading around in wigs and funny hats, packing guns, with brown people the target of their concern and their guns it is absolutely a moral imperative that queers of all colors recognize this for the social justice issue it is. <br /><br />We have been targeted by laws and elections, made to be the identified problem, the others, the outliers who don’t deserve equality nor civil rights. Latinos and queers, queers and Latinos, Latino/a queers, queer Latina/o we live outside the circle of normal people in the US. <br /><br />We live in cities with Spanish names, San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego, El Paso, Santa Fe, San Jose, in a Spanish named state, California and Texas. We eat at restaurants where the staff is Latino/a, they wash our dishes, our cars and sometimes clean our houses. <br /><br /> The argument that undocumented people have broken the law and therefore cannot have a path to citizenship is a red herring. In years past, it was illegal for two people of the same gender to have sex. It was illegal to gather and dance together. And it is still legal to discriminate against us in our relationships, work and public accommodations in many states. We can make some people uncomfortable just by our presence. That doesn’t make us criminals. We are all the outliers.<br /><br />For us as queer Latinos, it is our families in Arizona that are under attack. Since we all have different priorities and for many of us, this immigration battle in Arizona takes precedence over DADT or ENDA. Hopefully we can chew gum and be activists on many fronts all at once.<br /><br />For us as queer people of this land, we have a history that many of us have drilled into our heads.<br /><br />We didn’t cross the borders, the borders crossed us.<br /><br />Si se puede, egualidad en nuestras vidas.miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-18641778854634849802010-04-28T19:57:00.000-07:002010-04-28T19:59:11.898-07:00Real lives in ArizonaI want to tell you another story. I want to tell you about my friend Greg who lives in Arizona. He works at a major university and moved there for love. He and his partner own a home, pay their taxes and are part of their community. Nice men, they have come to visit us and we had a rollicking time in Santa Cruz with them. <p>The Governor of Arizona doesn’t feel these two men should be equal citizens. One of her first acts as the new Governor was to take Domestic Partnership benefits away from state employees like my friend. They lose their combined insurance on Oct 1.</p> <p>This is a problem to begin with for any family that loses insurance – but it is especially relevant to them because my friend’s partner has Alzheimer’s. And <em>he </em>is the one losing the insurance.</p> <p>We cannot change who we are anymore than we can change our diseases. I distinctly remember a time when gay men were blamed for getting AIDS. It wasn’t that long ago. As the shrillness ramps up here and on the net, I will point out, that there are still people who think we should be able to change and therefore should change who we are. I can’t change being a Chicana anymore than I can change my queerness. Neither can my undocumented queer brothers and sisters change who <em>they </em>are.</p> <p>This attempt at law, as it is written and passed now, will not survive the court challenges. This is a blatant move to bypass the constitution. In Sunday’s New York Times the point was obvious:</p> <p>One night last week, Grant Woods, the former state attorney general, spent more than an hour on the telephone with <a onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/azgovernor.gov/About_Gov.asp');" href="http://azgovernor.gov/About_Gov.asp">Gov. Jan Brewer</a>, a fellow Republican who was considering whether to sign into law the nation’s toughest <a onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/subjects/i/immigration_and_refugees/index.html?inline=nyt-classifier');" href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/reference/timestopics/subjects/i/immigration_and_refugees/index.html?inline=nyt-classifier">immigration</a> enforcement bill.</p> <p>The governor listened patiently, Mr. Woods recalled, as he laid out his arguments against the bill: that it would give too much power to the local police to stop people merely suspected of being illegal immigrants and would lead to racial profiling; that some local police officers have been abusive toward immigrants; and that the law could lead to costly legal battles for the state.</p> <p><strong>When he hung up, Mr. Woods knew he had lost the case. “She really felt that the majority of Arizonans fall on the side of, Let’s solve the problem and not worry about the Constitution,” he said.</strong></p> <p>The same people who passed that immigration law, took away DP benefits.</p> <p>There are queers among the undocumented who had to leave in a hurry because they are gay. There are people from the US who are in relationships with undocumented people.</p> <p>LGBT groups, cities, human rights commissions all over the country are mobilizing a boycott of Arizona.</p> <p>Many people in the country think of us as LGBT people as freaks, less than equal, illegal. If we were all legal and equal we wouldn’t need to protest inequalities like DADT, ENDA, adoption laws, gay bashings. We are all the “others”, we are the outliers that continue to be unequal.<br /></p>miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-75964851859488056012010-04-01T14:25:00.000-07:002010-04-01T14:27:08.708-07:00Sacrificing our souls<p>His name is Stephen McCarthy.</p><p> </p><p>He was a classmate at St Justin's Catholic school from the 4th to the 6th grade. His hair was red and he had loads of freckles. His face was a virtual map of Ireland. I am sure his parents sent him him to Catholic school to get a good education. They didn't send him there, I am guessing, to be paddled in front of his 49 classmates every year.</p><p> </p><p>Last night I lay awake thinking about my classmate. The look on his face when he was ordered to the front of the classroom. When he had to bend over so the nun could take a PADDLE to his butt, the back of his legs. The tears in his eyes, the red of his face all on display for the rest of us. The message was clear. Don't mess with the teachers or this will happen to you.</p><p> </p><p>This physical and spiritual violence is not the same as being sexually molested. It is not the same level of disturbing behavior. I don't pretend to make them equivalent. But ask yourself this, if this was your child, would you allow a teacher to touch them in any way like this? Would you deem it acceptable that your son or daughter was marched to the front of the classroom and told to bend over to get whacked? </p><p> </p><p>Last night I cried as I remembered the pain of Stephen and so many others who were taught through a church hierarchy that allowed nuns and priests to behave in any way they wanted. Out.Of.Control. Protected by god and the greatest religious institution on the planet to be virtually infallible.</p><p> </p><p> well they are not infallible, they are barely human. In 2008 the Church involved itself in the Prop 8 vote. I am baptized Catholic but I didn't count in that vote. It was about the married couples I would terrorize in the church with my, I don't know cooties. I keep hearing how this is about protecting the sacred institution of marriage. Funny, I thought the confessional was a sacred place and confession was a sacred institution. Now the revelations in Wisconsin show the offending priest who was never held accountable by the Vatican, violated children in the confessional. I guess some things are more sacred than others and some priests are more disgusting than others.</p><br /><p>Look around the globe and see how many children have been fathered by priests. So much for that celibacy thing. How about the former archbishop of New Mexico who fathered a child and placed known pedophile priests throughout New Mexico after completion of their "pray away the problem" treatments in NM. When asked by a grand jury why he had allowed the pedophiles to remain priests and placed them throughout a mostly rural, Catholic state the answer was priceless. Apparently he was of the understanding that an abortion or hitting a priest was a bigger sin than pedophilia.</p><p> </p><p>Once again, during the supposed holiest week of the year, the Vatican seeks to portray its victims as liars. The children it abused (now there are allegations of flogging by priests visited on children) have bravely stepped forward to tell their truth. Once again the old familiar claim that they are making it up from the Prada clad types in Rome.</p><p> </p><p> If you are witnessing a massacre, people being hurt and maimed in front of your eyes, would you not want to save the children? The Vatican has answered that question, they are trying to save themselves.</p><p> </p><p> My family is still waiting for that apology from the 1968 slapping of my sister. I am not holding my breath.</p><p> </p><p> Stephen McCarthy if you ever read this, I am sorry for not trying to stop the abuse. You didn't deserve it. None of us did. We were just kids.</p>miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-70178667940531391042010-03-30T15:24:00.000-07:002010-03-30T15:25:06.723-07:00Enough!!!!<p>Warning!!! If you think the Pope is infallible, don't read this. If you think the church is being attacked for its inability to protect children in its care, don't read this.</p><p> </p><p>I went to a Catholic school in Santa Clara, Ca. So did my siblings. My sister was pulled out of that Catholic school the day after she slapped by a nun in front of her entire class. The nun then told the entire class they could not tell their parents what happened. Violence followed by an order from a nun to lie.</p><p> </p><p>She was in public school the next day. I remained in the same school simply because I was a few weeks away from graduating from the eighth grade. Thankfully, many of her classmates did not obey the order to lie to the their parents and the phone was ringing that night with parents calling to talk to my parents about the violence my sister suffered in public that day.</p><p> </p><p>Now I see the church has enlarged its ability to violate children. Not that this has been a big secret for a long time. But each day over the last few weeks we continue to see the centuries old pattern of the catholic church. Blame the victims, absolve the church members. I find it ironic that with the current Pope a German they have responded with a classic Nuremberg defense.</p><p> </p><p>I find the violations visited on the 200 boys at a school for the deaf to be particularly revolting. No one believed them then that a priest was violating them in every way imaginable, even in the confessional. Yet, it is the child, now an adult, who is at fault. One deaf man, in particular, continues to stand brave in the face of attacks. Arthur Budzinski continues to ask for answers and accountability. In sign language. I applaud his bravery and commitment to telling his truth.</p><p> </p><p>All of these secrets, lies and obfuscation are vulgar, in my mind. Having gone through the process of receiving all the sacraments, including the little slap on the cheek for confirmation, I will continue to believe in what I was taught in Catholic school. Lying is wrong. Cheating is wrong. Our jobs are to feed the poor, clothe the unclothed and act as if being a child of God means you act with integrity and honor. I don't see that coming from the Vatican nor did I see that from St Justin's school in the 1960's.</p><p> </p><p>That is a span of over 40 years. What will it take for the Vatican to be accountable to its "flock" and really take care of the children and not just its power?</p><p> </p><p>The only time I will return to the church will be for a relative's funeral. Until then (and I hope it is a really long time) I will follow the teaching to help those who need help. To bring kindness into the world and see the work of a spirit greater than myself in the animals, flowers and people who seek peace in the world.</p><p> </p><p>BTW, Jesus never said a word about gayness so I am going to keep telling the truth of my life.</p><div id="TixyyLink" style="overflow: hidden; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; border: medium none;"><br /></div>miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-12323921804139218402010-03-24T14:57:00.001-07:002010-03-24T14:57:59.879-07:00The World has changed, again.<!-- 1 --> I have added a correction, in bold to a comment Speaker Perez made about repealing Prop 8. This is my mistake and not him walking back anything. <p>The world has significantly changed this week for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender population. Some significant events to note:</p><p> </p><p>Wedding licenses were issued to same sex couples in Washington D.C.</p><p> </p><p>Mexico City allowed same sex marriages to begin there.</p><p> </p><p>John Perez was sworn in as Speaker of the California State Assembly, the first openly gay person to occupy this top of the food chain position not only in California but in the country. Add the Latino part and you have a Latino gay man leading the Cal Assembly.</p><p> </p><p><em><strong>The world has changed</strong>.</em></p><p> </p><p>In a conference call on Tuesday, Speaker Perez talked with LGBT media about his priorities as Speaker this year. He obviously is making efforts to make the Assembly more transparent by limiting texting while lawmakers are on the floor.</p><p> </p><p>Education is a priority for him and he wants to take advantage of his new positions on the UC Regents board as well as sitting on the CSU board of Trustees to review fiscal policies and the impact of those policies on students. Rising tuitions and over crowded classrooms have a significant impact on the accessibility of all California students to advanced studies.</p><p> </p><p>Today (Thursday) there are statewide protests by students regarding these very issues. Speaker Perez (that looks so awesome) is concerned about the breadth and depth of financial resources available and what cuts will mean to grants such as CalGrants for students in California.</p><p> </p><p>Also among his priorities in the upcoming budget he said "AIDS is a real priority for me." He did lead the charge last year against the Governor’s attempts at cuts that turned out to be illegal. With the Governor having slashed all prevention money, the Speaker will be coming to the budget talks with a different set of priorities this year. He said this will be a "new relationship with the Governor."</p><p> </p><p><em><strong>The world has changed. A gay Latino is leading the Assembly.</strong></em></p><p> </p><p>When queeried about his position on repealing Prop 8, the Speaker was unflinching in his analysis. He felt "there was no practical way to overturn Prop 8 <strong>this year</strong>." The lack of signatures and funding were fatal to any efforts this year. </p><p> </p><p>In terms of the past Prop 8 campaign, he said that all the Latino electeds were on board with us. All his colleagues in Southern California supported the No on 8 campaign. We must "invest in education" and talk to people we didn’t talk to last time, Latinos, African Americans, working people. </p><p> </p><p>Speaker Perez feels the ultimate solution to the problems plaguing California is to work in greater coalition. "We must invest in a broader approach" to coalition work and problem solving.</p><p> </p><p>Many moons ago, my family, my Latino community was very excited about the new world that awaited them, not working in fields, getting educations for themselves and their children, having people represent us in different places. When well known singer Eydie Gorme started singing older Mexican songs with the famous Trio Los Panchos on the Ed Sullivan Show, we knew we had arrived. A real star was embracing her roots and singing in our language. No hiding, no changing the subject about Mexican roots but luxuriating in her browness.</p><p> </p><p>I won’t say Speaker John Perez is the Latino LGBT Eydie Gorme (wait I just said it!) but it is a big ceiling that he has cracked. And just like Pete Wilson said, "They just keep coming and coming." You betcha, si se puede, adelante we are right behind you John!</p><p> </p><p><em><strong>The world has changed for the better.</strong></em>. </p><br />Read more: <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nieto/detail?blogid=94&entry_id=58456#ixzz0j8M5IslT">http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nieto/detail?blogid=94&entry_id=58456#ixzz0j8M5IslT</a>miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-18269024364196873512010-03-24T14:56:00.000-07:002010-03-24T14:57:03.190-07:00Someone Didn't Get the Memo, Meg<h2>I watched the 10 o'clock and 11 o'clock news while wading through seed catalogues. Besides the usual depressing murders, unemployment and impending educational cuts was the story of Meg Whitman's tour of Southern Pacific train yards at the Port of Oakland.</h2> <!-- 1 --> <p> </p><p>This was not your usual press gaggle following a candidate on a tour of a key component of California's economy. No this was in fact a punishment of the media. While the press had been told they were going to go on the tour with the candidate, they were in fact, sequestered because of an apparent break out of cooties as determined by MEGabucks' staff. </p><p> </p><p>The media were put in a holding room for, hmmmm, two hours? Then she had a sit down with Mr Southern Pacific but wouldn't take questions. WHAT???? Why invite the media???</p><p> </p><p>As I said, someone did not get the memo on campaigns. In the film last night, Whitman's campaign people were scolding the media for asking questions as if the press,who I will remind again,were invited to this, were still cootie covered and must be rushed out the door lest the contamination spread to those who would rule one of the largest economies in the world. </p><p> </p><p>In October I heard Madeline Albright say "The hottest places in hell are for women who don't help other women." So rather than disappointing all those nuns who put so much effort into disciplining my sister and I, I will offer some unasked for advice. No hot place in hell for this gal.</p><p> </p><p>Madam Candidate, I have no idea why you want to be governor of California. I am also at a point where I don't care why. What ideas you have offered as a cure all for this debacle we are living in except to cut the size of government? As if this has not already been done by everyone. And that is what we need, more unemployed.</p><p> </p><p>The memo should say that you must go out and find out what people need. Your ideas must be conveyed in an adult manner, not preceded by nannernannernanner, Steve Poisner has cooties.</p><p>So I will point out this campaign is your job interview. So far you seem to have no grasp on what the issues are for the millions of people in this state who are struggling, having to make a decision between food and medicine, wondering if they will ever get a paycheck again. We will be the ones voting in November and guess what??? This may come as a surprise to both you and your staff but my vote counts the same as yours. My sister, my mom, my aunt, my neighbors all those people you are ignoring, we all have one vote. Funny, that democracy.</p><p> </p><p>That lame apology on tv last night too, when you were sorry that the event didn't turn out the way you thought it would, well it was lame. Who is in charge at your campaign then? Aren't you? If you are not, who is in charge, let me talk to them. Remember this is your interview. </p><p>Looks like you are as qualified to run the state as I am to run ebay. Neither of us have the experience to do a good job.</p><div id="TixyyLink" style="overflow: hidden; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; border: medium none;"><br />Read more: <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nieto/detail??blogid=94&entry_id=58854#ixzz0j8LeLpkT">http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nieto/detail??blogid=94&entry_id=58854#ixzz0j8LeLpkT</a><br /></div>miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-39490387489613076312009-11-22T12:59:00.000-08:002009-11-22T13:03:32.353-08:00Show me what real faith looks like<div id="container"> <div id="main"> <div class="post" id="post-3637"> <div class="title"><!-- end postmeta --> </div><!-- end title --> <div class="entry">I am a recovering Catholic. I have survived every sacrament, five years of Catholic school, numerous Catholic funerals and the brutal regimens of wearing a uniform, overseen by strict nuns who were not averse to using physical punishment. <p>My sister was yanked out of school one day after a nun pulled her and another child to the front of the classroom and slapped them both right across the face. Then the entire class was told they could not tell anyone what had just happened. Naturally my mom got a number of calls that night from other parents upset about what happened. She was out of uniform the next day and at the public school.</p> <p>As an institution designed to provide spiritual guidance, the Catholic Church has had some horrific failures. Looking back over the years we can see the Crusades, the Inquisition, the colonialization of the American west with its subjugation of American Indians. In recent history, the proliferation of pedophile priests without any Church intervention has caused not only loss of millions of dollars but also a loss of spiritual leadership.</p> <p>In Spanish, there is a phrase, sin verguenza, which literally translates to “without shame.” The Catholic Church has become a sin verguenza. After all this history of untold pain and suffering they have entered new territory of creating the same kind of pain for gays and lesbians through the electoral process.</p> <p>After the loss of Prop 8 in California, it was revealed that the current archbishop of San Francisco, George H. Niederauer, began this plot against gay people. In previous work as a priest, Niederauer was in Utah and formed relationships with his Mormon brethren. From this unholy alliance sprung Prop 8.</p> <p>We know the outcome of this effort. Then the spawn of Prop 8 in Maine, Question 1, appeared with the same antagonists, same ending. Now the Catholics have thrown a big tantrum in Washington D.C. saying they will pull themselves away from their $10 million dollars worth of contracts to feed and house the poor, if, gasp, the District allows gay marriage. This recovering Catholic cannot help but wonder if they had spent half as much energy dealing with their flock of pedophiles how many lives would have been spared?</p> <p>A few years back during my time in New Mexico, there was a huge controversy between the Church and the arts community in Santa Fe.</p> <p>When we had first moved there, the controversy at that time was the grand jury testimony of the Archbishop of Albuquerque. The holy man had fathered a child with a parishioner and had full knowledge of the rampant pedophilia occurring in northern New Mexico.</p> <p>In fact, a high number of priests who were known pedophiles were sent to pray their way out of this problem at a retreat in the Jemez mountains. When they were “cured” they were released to do the lord’s work in New Mexico with the Archbishop’s blessing. I bet you know what happened then.</p> <p>The Archbishop testified to the grand jury that, yes, he knew about these problems. But he thought that hitting a priest and having an abortion were greater sins.</p> <p>(A brief background is <a onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/www.nytimes.com/1993/03/20/us/archbishop-is-resigning-afteraccusations-of-sex.html');" href="http://www.nytimes.com/1993/03/20/us/archbishop-is-resigning-afteraccusations-of-sex.html" target="_blank">here from the NY Times.</a>)</p> <p><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-3642" title="Gloria - Virgin Mary art" src="http://www.lgbtpov.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Gloria-Virgin-Mary-art-240x300.jpg" alt="Gloria - Virgin Mary art" height="300" width="240" />Now with this as a backdrop, an exhibit comes to Santa Fe with this picture in it. It is a representation of the Virgin of Guadalupe. She is a mestiza, brown skinned woman in all representations, who showed herself to a Mexican Indian. Long considered the patron saint of the Americans, some of the locals went nuts.</p> <p>That’s a polite way of saying it.</p> <p>The artist, Alma Lopez, is a lesbian living in Los Angeles. The fact that a lesbian would put bare breasts in a picture of the Virgin made some people apoplectic. She had threats made to her life. The curator of the show, Tey Marianna Nunn, was set upon by the mobs in Santa Fe as if she were Frankenstein and the mobs had pitchforks and torches. There were community forums, people who had known each other all their lives stopped talking to each other. There were out in the open brawls between men and women, traditionalists v progressives. Many lives were threatened.</p> <p>Myself, I tried to instigate a few counter protests. If there were attempts to shut down the exhibit, CyberArte: Tradition Meets Technology, the feminists would chain ourselves to the front door and then take our tops off as a sign of solidarity. OK, not everyone thought the topless part was such a good idea.</p> <p>In December of that year, I went to Mexico, to the border city of Ciudad Juarez, for the feast day of the Virgin, Dec 12. I had heard about this event for years and finally drove down to see it.</p> <p><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-3643" title="Gloria - feast day virgin" src="http://www.lgbtpov.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Gloria-feast-day-virgin.jpg" alt="Gloria - feast day virgin" height="130" width="92" />What I saw in Mexico were true expressions of faith and commitment to her service by thousands of people. I am sure I was the only one in the Plaza that night who even knew Alma Lopez or cared about her art. What was important was their faith in her.</p> <p>Reverential looks, lips moving in silent prayer, many groups dancing to show their devotion to the Goddess of the Americas on her special day. People sat in the Cathedral for hours until the midnight hour so they could sing “Las Mañanitas” , our version of Happy Birthday. What was controversy for men who wear hats with the Virgin on it was irrelevant to these faithful.</p> <p>So as the Catholic Church in DC continues to weep and wail and gnash its teeth, I wonder how the poor, the homeless, those suffering who the church is supposed to be serving, how do they feel that they are about to be tossed out because of some unknown gay and lesbian people who want their rights. Seems like another overreaction to me.</p> <p>But then I don’t know how I could expect anything different from men who plotted for years to attack us over our marriages and thought a picture was more important than true belief and acts of faith. After all I am a recovering Catholic. We have been slapped too many times by this church. That won’t stop me from performing real acts of kindness. It shouldn’t stop any of us from showing our kindness and having a generosity of spirit.</p> <p>Catholics (and Mormons) may think they are blocking our way but ultimately our acts of faith – faith in our cause, faith in ourselves – will get us to the finish line as equal citizens. Yes we have had setbacks but we haven’t lost our faith.</p>Artist <a onclick="javascript:pageTracker._trackPageview('/outgoing/almalopezblog.blogspot.com/');" href="http://almalopezblog.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Alma Lopez has her own blog</a> and says her new married name Alma Lopez Gaspar de Alba. She writes that: <blockquote><p>Alicia and I are working on editing a publication of essays titled <span style="font-style: italic;">Our Lady of Controversy: Alma Lopez’s Irreverent Apparition</span>. Please read more about the Our Lady image and the controversy on my website at http://www.almalopez.com or http://www.almalopez.net. Either address leads you to the same site.</p> <p>If you are an artists (or if you know an artist, please forward) who has created an image using the icon of the Virgen of Guadalupe, please submit your work for consideration to be included in the DVD which will accompany this book.</p> <p>This publication with DVD will be published by the University of Texas Press (Chicana Matters Series) in the Fall of 2010.</p></blockquote> <blockquote><p><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-3647" title="Gloria promo for Alma's book" src="http://www.lgbtpov.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Gloria-promo-for-Almas-book-300x152.jpg" alt="Gloria promo for Alma's book" height="152" width="300" /></p></blockquote><br /></div></div></div><div id="sidebar"><ul><!-- Enhanced Links 4.2.3 --></ul><!-- end ul --> </div><!-- end sidebar --></div><!-- end container -->miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-54771585073409545632009-11-05T21:15:00.000-08:002009-11-05T21:17:41.773-08:00Elizabeth Edwards helped my breaking heart<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFT8URJz1kDvYu9DWO7BKyxFC04TP_IcNTc50sCjPRlwVjNs5HMVINzAR-_uU845t7GwOYayFSVUnCUkBAdhTjxsZ-0901bzt3AVam7LPxYlyIet0JecU7Xu-A3bcci7bZKX3xaw/s1600-h/PA270154.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 244px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFT8URJz1kDvYu9DWO7BKyxFC04TP_IcNTc50sCjPRlwVjNs5HMVINzAR-_uU845t7GwOYayFSVUnCUkBAdhTjxsZ-0901bzt3AVam7LPxYlyIet0JecU7Xu-A3bcci7bZKX3xaw/s320/PA270154.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5400855367330214114" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">While living in New Mexico, I heard many folk stories. Tales of emergence, creation stories, even UFO sightings. One in particular has always had a profound impact on me, the story of Apache tears.The story says that some Apaches were all lost in a battle with the colonizers. The men were all killed. When the women found out they had lost all the men, they cried such pure tears of grief, the gods were so moved they captured the tears and made them into the stones, the Apache tears. So now we are witness to the tears of the Apache women and their grief.</span> <span style="font-style: italic;"> Today there are Apache tears from Maine all across the country.</span><br /><br />Grief, such a small word for feelings that can swallow a life.<br /><br />At Maria Shriver’s Women’s Conference in Long Beach, Ca, on October 27th, a panel of women who look from the outside that they have rich, fulfilled lives, opened themselves to 15,000 participants to talk about their own grief.<br /><br />Maria Shriver, the First Lady of California, moderated the panel. Elizabeth Edwards, a mother who lost her teenage son in a car accident, Lisa Niemi, Patrick Swayze’s widow and actress Susan St James who also lost a teenage son in a plane accident, talked honestly and emotionally about their grief.<br /><br />The lessons are many, especially for us in the LGBT community. Each woman spoke about the challenges of facing a life without their children, husband and mother. How does one accept a life when the calls no longer come from your mother or that you will no longer see your child? How does one face a husband who has cheated on you and that the entire country knows what he has done?<br /><br />For us, how do we live our lives when we have been told we are second-class citizens time and time again? How do we face a day having lost our partners, our brothers and sisters to an early death from a disease no one seems to care about any more?<br /><br />The grief they talked about was so overwhelming, I felt paralyzed listening to the discussion. That gut wrenching, soul suffocating pain of loss had taken over my life in the past six weeks. I had no idea until I heard my pain being described by these women and realized I had curled up into a ball and let the pain take over everything.<br /><br />Since the defeat of Proposition 8 in November, 2008 I have felt completely overwhelmed with grief. It wasn’t just my shove into second-class citizenship, it was loss of a job, then the loss of our house and the loss of a beloved dog. All the loss, the soul searching for a reason to get up in the morning that had become my life for weeks at a time.<br /><br />Now we can add Maine to that list. We are now second-class, non-human beings in this country where our rights are voted on. The tyranny of the majority willingly believes the lies told by church after church both in California and Maine. Look at where the money for these campaigns comes from? Here is the link to the Maine money reports. http://www.mainecampaignfinance.com/public/entity_financial_transactions.asp?TYPE=BQC&ID=4528<br /><br />Here is the link for the Prop 8 donors. http://www.sfgate.com/webdb/prop8/<br /><br />So our community continues to be grief stricken and doing what to help our broken hearts? Some want to march, some want to go organize to go back in 2010 for another election. (I do not support that idea in anyway shape or form.)<br /><br />Elizabeth Edwards said with such clarity that if one does not heal one’s self internally all the grief will come out sideways – as rage, anger or other behavior that is not good either for ourselves or the people we care about.<br /><br />I wonder, can we heal ourselves after these defeats? Can we treat each other well? Can we say to the people in Maine, you did a magnificent job and here is my hand so I can help you up when you are ready? And get up we must. Probably not today, maybe not tomorrow but at some point we must get up. Elizabeth Edwards, a woman with stage 4 cancer, offered her hand to me, a total stranger, and helped me get up to fight another day. Betsy Smith, can I offer you my hand when you are ready to get up? Can all of us do that when the chance comes to comfort another?<br /><br />Maybe not but I promise we make ourselves better people when we have compassion and show our generosity of spirit. We can all help heal each other in this small way.<br /><br />Of course we will win someday. I remember asking Del Martin once about why she would work on marriage if she may not see marriage in her lifetime. It was always about the people coming behind her, “I’m doing it for them.” Del beat the clock by two months, she died married to Phyllis Lyon. No one can take that away. Del had faith in the movement, in all of us, to keep getting back up and keep going to the end. I think I made that same promise to Elizabeth Edwards. Maybe not in so many words but in my heart, I promise to keep going. Grab my hand and we’ll walk this path together. Maybe we will pick up a few on the way! I'll be the one with Apache tears in my pocket.miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com192tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-62752240743352551282009-10-05T14:58:00.000-07:002009-10-05T15:03:01.948-07:00Check these outHaven't been blogging much here lately. I am now on the <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nieto/index">SF Chronicle</a>, <a href="http://www.bilerico.com/">Bilerico</a> and <a href="http://www.lgbtpov.com/">LGBTPOV</a><br />I will continue to pop in here and submit other original work.miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-74790174972847997952009-09-11T16:03:00.000-07:002009-09-11T16:06:02.965-07:00Remembering 9/11<p>Today is a sad day in the annals of this country. Eight years ago we lost so many Americans which led to losing so many more Americans in a war started on lies, pomposity and subterfuge. I better be careful or Sarah Palin will start calling me out on her Facebook page. I'm white with fear.</p><p> </p><p>On November 4, 2008, 16,000 people went into legal limbo because we had gotten married after the California Supreme Court said we could stay married but no one else could join our country club.</p><p> </p><p>These two moments in history are related because of Alice Hoagland. We all met Alice the day she came to the rally in downtown San Jose the Saturday after the election. She was wearing a picture button of her son, Mark Bingham, a gay man who was on the United flight 93 which crashed in Pennsylvania. Alice took the mic that day and talked about her loss, our loss of a man named Mark who helped stop that flight from crashing into the White House or the Capitol. </p><p> </p><p>Alice is an amazing woman, exactly the kind of mom we may all have wanted at some time in our lives. She has thrown herself full bore into the causes Mark believed in-LGBT equal rights, air safety and rugby. Whenever we have meetings about events and planning, Alice is with us offering heartfelt, smart opinions. </p><p> </p><p>She knows our lgbt history better than most people I know. She has brought her mother's heart to our battle and will not be silenced about her loss and our loss of Mark. Alice has been walking this path with us and offering her strength to get us through the losses and set backs.</p><p> </p><p>The government sent her to Guantanamo to witness the trial of Khalid Sheik Mohamed. She described her trip as seeing the face of evil in front of her. Alice was quoted on the front page of the New York Times from her time in Guantanamo. This is no shrinking violet!</p><p> </p><p>Today is the anniversary of her loss. Our country's loss, the LGBT community's loss and a reminder that we can all be heroes when the opportunity presents itself. Unfortunately, Mark's heroism cost him his life. </p><p> </p><p> His mother carries on for him. Alice is a great woman, a true partner in the struggle for equality. I wish I had never met her and that her son was among us, living a fulfilled life. That wasn't Mark Bingham's story though. He gave us the gift of his mother instead.</p><p> </p><p>I wish I had met Mark while he was among us. I am certainly grateful for his gift of Alice. Please take a moment today and remember Mark and all the others who lives ended tragically today. Please remember their families, the people who love them and the pain they have today as a reminder of that dark day.</p><p> </p><p> Please remember the bright lights that remain among us carrying their sorrow in so many hidden ways. Their pain is our pain, we remain a country wounded but still surviving. </p><p> </p><p> Thank you Mark for your sacrifice. Thank you Alice for all you do and who you are to all of us.</p><p> <a name="readmore"></a> <!-- 2 --> </p>miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-10277291715457344942009-07-28T21:03:00.000-07:002009-07-28T21:06:23.453-07:00CaliforniaI got married on August 30, 2008 during the summer of love. My one year anniversary is coming up soon. Our 20 year anniversary is on August 14. Most of that time we have lived in California, with a decade in New Mexico. <br /><br />I did all my growing up in California, schools, drinking, getting arrested, getting sober, getting politically active and educated. From the really bad days of AIDS to Prop 187 and now Prop 8, I have struggled in the trenches to do the right thing to win at the ballot box.<br /><br />Let me be clear now. I am not and have not been part of the “leadership” in California even though I have a strong, experienced background in the science of elections. There was no Latino leadership in the November election aside from that provided by mi hermanos in LA, HONOR PAC. I do not fall into the scorned category of “those people” who have been in charge.<br /><br />Trying to be a cool chick all the time, I have been riding the wave of the recession for a couple of years now, few jobs, lots of unemployment. My spouse and I are in the process of losing the house we were married in. After four months, I have gotten my first unemployment check. I do not have the resources to go to meetings for a weekend in a place as far away as San Bernadino. At 54 I also will not tolerate heat and, trust me, being cooped up in a hot room for hours is a recipe for an arrest.<br /><br />At this point I am writing this because I want to make some observations about the strong disagreements in the LGBT community in California. It is truly irresponsible for me to not say something at this point and try to bring my point of view from where I live.<br /><br />One of the key issues that I continue to see is the total unwillingness to listen to each other. This next campaign is supposed to be about changing hearts and minds among the electorate. Yet in meeting after meeting we do not listen well to each other and from that springs growing animosity towards other LGBT people. So without these skills how in the hell are we supposed to listen to the California electorate who does not agree with us right now? <br /><br />Does anyone truly think that by just showing up on people’s doorsteps they will welcome us in and want to hear our stories? These conversations require the ability to listen to other people’s beliefs and not just maintain a superior attitude that we know best how people should vote. Do we magically take the place of their clerics or their religious community? <br /><br />What is even more important is that vast numbers of people do not know us. In the Latino community, it is necessary to spend time with us to gain any measure of trust. That means going to different events, sharing some values with us, like is poverty or immigration an issue for us too. If it is, prove it. <br /><br />Ask yourself when was the last time you publicly supported an issue where you had nothing to gain? Support for immigration reform? March for Iranian freedom? What have we all done to work for other causes? I will give a shout out here for Courage Campaign who does a great job of working on the multiple issues that we face as progressives. <br /><br />But really, can we back up a little here? A lot of paens I have read about going in 2010 have not dealt at all with the issue of people of color in California. Just in case you missed the demographics on the Golden State, we are a majority minority state. The majority of people in California are minorities, primarily Latino. So to have these opinions completely skip over the statement made by people of color organizations, the Prepare to Prevail, does not take into full account the true demography here. <br /><br />In Karen Ocamb’s blog post at the Bilerico Project about the San Bernadino meeting, she quotes at least two participants wanted to ignore the African American and Latino communities in the next votes. That’s a good idea - don’t deal with a significant part of the state. Wouldn’t want anyone to feel uncomfortable now.<br /><br />We must engage everyone in this next battle. Communities of color are saying there is not enough time to do this for a 2010 vote. Does anyone really think we don’t want our full equality? But what happens if we lose again? Who gains from that? <br /><br />My community, the Latino community must be engaged in this vote if we are to win true equality. We know what discrimination is and we don’t like it. There was polling a few years back about marriage in the Latino community. It was done all over the country in both Spanish and English. The results were the same, when discrimination was described to the participants, we totally understood what it meant. Doesn’t anyone want us to do this task properly? Then give us the needed time to do it!<br /><br />I have one more thing to mention. There is now an attempt to put another anti-immigrant measure on the 2010 ballot. In the same way we were used as political piñatas in 2008, so will the brown people be used next year. The same people will be involved voting against civil rights of another group of people.<br /><br />In the last election over Prop 187, we lost. In the aftermath we discovered there were 5 million people in California who were eligible to become citizens and had not done so yet. The effort is going on now to make sure we have gotten all eligible people in California ready to be citizens by November 2010. The battle was ugly, racist, a pitched battle for the soul of the state. The voters believed all the lies about what immigration was “costing” us the same way they believed the lies about us.<br /><br />Whether we like it or not, there are many unpleasant conversations in the future. Unpleasantries with our families, our co-workers, our neighbors are coming. We should be able to turn to each other to support in the days ahead. But the name calling, insults, the demands of “my way or the highway” campaigning or the covert and overt racism does not make that unity possible. If we cannot trust each other, who can we trust.<br /><br />I have many beefs with the way the last campaign was run. I have called people out in public for their mean spirited behavior. I may forgive but I won’t forget. I also won’t make the same mistakes twice like allowing the Latino community to be ignored the next time. So don’t get me wrong since I consistently can’t get a job with these campaigns despite my abilities, I will find a way to get around the road blocks. I also will not be insulted and degraded for being a grass roots person of color who worked on the No on 8 campaign.<br /><br />But I will listen and agree on some arguments being made for 2010. I also don’t think it should be too hard to practice listening to each other and finding a way to do this without hurting each other. We have to find a way to lean on each other otherwise we are not a movement but kids who don't play well with each other.<br /><br />The test is here let's make this a movement.miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-66515024668051437082009-06-24T12:58:00.000-07:002009-06-24T13:05:33.913-07:00Sanford and puns<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-sxDuLWwBxrTrJe9g7JV5dyszp7aAvNsk40yFXn75BBE71YUBG8kf8McZFYagS3LtIL2WBPmQF1e602eGpdYeTeyrVr6upAgjAwbrLofHJicNnuKOPnIUGhEATGSmpJRunWLN9A/s1600-h/dontcry.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 249px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-sxDuLWwBxrTrJe9g7JV5dyszp7aAvNsk40yFXn75BBE71YUBG8kf8McZFYagS3LtIL2WBPmQF1e602eGpdYeTeyrVr6upAgjAwbrLofHJicNnuKOPnIUGhEATGSmpJRunWLN9A/s320/dontcry.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350987477955949858" border="0" /></a><br />Iraq continues to be a bloody quagmire. Check out <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/24/iran-election-live-bloggi_n_220128.html">HuffPo</a> and Nico Pitney's live blogging there. <a href="http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/">Andrew Sullivan continues</a> to bring updates also. I feel so sick inside watching the videos from Iraq. But seeing what real bravery and commitment to democracy looks like makes me want to support the Iraqi people even more. Especially the women that are leading this effort.<br /><br />In the meantime, another Republican is added to the hypocrisy list. The guy who didn't want stimulus money, which, as Ana Marie Cox has pointed out, has a whole new meaning, apparently ran off to Argentina to do the tango mattress dance with his mistress. Here is a good little parody of his lies about where he was.miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-68161533414224568722009-06-23T00:07:00.000-07:002009-06-23T00:10:01.639-07:00Repeat after me<span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">The revolution in Iran is not about the US. Not one bit. Not even a hint. Time for everyone to get over the USitis and recognize shit happens in the world that is not about us.</span>miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29679936.post-68975469072471053222009-06-18T11:09:00.001-07:002009-06-18T11:09:53.225-07:00Plenty to Be Proud About<!-- 1 --> <p> The rainbow flags are up on Market street. The excitement builds til next weekend with the patented Dyke March and Pink Saturday leading up to one of the most massive Pride parades on the face of the earth. This is fun for lots of people. Not so much for me. </p><p> </p><p> It's not that I don't love a good parade. I revel in the tractor parade at the Santa Cruz Fair every year. The neighborhood Fourth of July is fun, too. But here's the problem for me, I am, in a politically correct sort of way, vertically challenged. Translation: I'm short, damn short.</p><p> </p><p>So it becomes impossible to see much around all the very tall people there. They certainly do not see me and I have had way too much beer splashed on me over the years, followed by the "Oops, didn't see you" refrain. I don't drink alcohol so getting beer accidentally spilled on me isn't much fun.</p><p> </p><p>But I noted that this week is Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin's wedding anniversary. They were married as the first couple in California in City Hall by the handsome mayor. The pack of people in the room was just filled with excitement at seeing this piece of our history in front of our eyes. It was even funny for us menopausal types trying to shed jackets as the room heated up from bodies dealing with hormones.</p><p> </p><p> Outside, there were hundreds of people celebrating this moment. Additionally there were ugly, hateful signs decrying what was happening inside. I kept thinking, why this level of hate against two eighty year old women who just want their relationship recognized after 55 years. How does this hurt anyone?</p><p> </p><p> Before all you biblically correct people start the bleating about different opinions and religious freedom, I dare you to tell me one thing these women did to hurt you? Yes, you personally so that you and your followers were so enraged that you had to run up the steps of City Hall as we walked in to scream hateful speech at us? Jewelle, you had the perfect response and then kept right on going to our date with history. Thank you.</p><p> </p><p>I have my current issue of Us Weekly magazine here by my side. The cover is classic. Makes my point completely about all these fallacies about the sanctity of marriage. The four headlines on the cover :"Adam comes out gay." "Jon cheated on her birthday." "Heidi Pratt-Tears, Lies and Torture," and "Ashlee and Pete Marriage in Crisis." Guess who looks the happiest? Yep, Adam the gay guy from American Idol.</p><p> </p><p>So next time you have the desire to do something that preserves the sanctity of marriage, here's some suggestions: Senator John Ensign, Senator Larry Craig, Congressman David Vitter and that towering testimony to hypocrisy and cheating, Newt Gingrich. Wait, I almost forgot Rush and his three wives. Go talk them. The rest of us want to just get on with our lives. Not to mention going back to the ballot box because that is our right. Whether you like it or not. </p><p> <!-- 2 --> </p><p class="credit"><span class="author">Posted By: <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nieto/author?blogid=94&auth=338">Gloria Nieto</a> (<a href="mailto:citybrights@sfgate.com?subject=City%20Brights:%20Gloria%20Nieto">Email</a>)</span> | <span class="pubdate">Jun 18 at 10:22 AM</span></p>miss wild thinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04637474417624505791noreply@blogger.com0