Gary

Today is Halloween which means it is my birthday. It is also Gary McMillin's birthday. Gary and I were born on the same day and the same year. But Gary died years ago in the horrible years of AIDS. So now on our birthdays, I still buy him a gross birthday card and put it on my altar in front of the picture of him and his partner Chet. I am sitting at my desk with his bottle of ashes, well not all his ashes but a little bit of him is here.

I cried tears of loss and sadness, with the hole in my heart never to be healed. But I promised him before he died that I would be his witness. Gary McMillin lived, loved and was loved. I miss him more today than ever. It is a love that will have forever.

No on Prop 8

I wrote this for the local Dem Latino newsletter.

Familia, family. It is the core of our culture as Latinos. We always have our core of the family, whether it is our grandparents, a favorite aunt or uncle, our many cousins who we have all grown up with and love dearly.

But some of those family members live a little differently. We have a partner of the same gender, so uncle Jorge is always with uncle Dylan. And aunt Maria is always with Aunt Teresa, how come?

There are Latinos who are gay and lesbian, bisexual and transgender.

And their rights to be with and marry the person they love is going to be voted on by the people of California.

As much as any people, we Latinos know discrimination. We have relatives who could not marry in some states because they were different from each other. Some of our parents went to a school with only Mexican kids and couldn’t go into some restaurants, swimming pools, and hotels because we are brown. We carry the scars of discrimination and seek justice for the hurts of our grandparents, great grandparents, all who came before us.

Proposition 8 will make California the first state to change its constitution to single out a groups of people to take away their rights. Prop 8 will not make churches lose their non-profit status, will not force sex education on small children and will not force churches to marry people if they do not believe in marriage for same sex couple.

Proposition 8 will take away the legal rights and coverage for same sex couples. It will instill prejudice against your favorite tios and tias in the state constitution. It will treat some people differently under the law. Many of our elders were placed behind a tortilla curtain and treated differently, less than equal.

This is our chance to show the Latino community understands and does not support for this bill. We want all of our families together. We want all of us to be able to be with the person they love. We want equality for all.

Vote NO on Prop 8.

Hope

Here is a sign that there is hope for the future. My sister's sister-in-law live in North Carolina. Their yard sign was stolen. So this is what the kids did. Took some action, whoohoo. Mary and Vivek you are doing a splendid job, keep up the parenting job and these two will change the world. They already have.

Del's memorial

Last Wednesday was Del Martin's memorial service in San Francisco. What an amazing event. I wish it wasn't because she has left us but it truly honored both Del and Phyllis.

City Hall in San Francisco looks like the state capitol, a large dome, marble everywhere and gilded balconies. The memorial was held in the rotunda and was filled to capacity both on the main floor and every single balcony. The program was just the right amount of sorrow mixed with reverence, stories of Del's decades-long commitment to social justice and the testimony to her love of Phyllis, and the doors she pushed open for so many of us.

I have been laboring with this post for days now. How do I express my joy of having known Del Martin? How do I adequately tell what it was like to sit in their living room and hear stories, discuss the latest political gossip or just to be able to share a laugh. I don't know that I will find the words, ever. But one thing I know for sure, my life is infinitely better because I knew Del Martin.