Thursday thoughts

Yeah baby, the Supremes bitch slapped the idiot in chief. Constitution 1, Bush zip. The MSM is going to be full of delight tomorrow now that the biggest bully on the block got hammered. I am dancing on the desk, finally a win.

Wins come so infrequently. Can't win in Congress, can't win elections, finally some thinking people came through for us at the judicial level. So I wonder if the Supremes will now be considered activist judges?

This is what we have become, a nation of name callers. Bullies on the playground can't win arguments so they resort to name calling and brute force. Oh don't get me started. Plenty of people have an analysis of the country. I am going to run out and buy Helen Thomas' new book so I can at least get a view point from the front row. She was on Comedy Central this week and was fabulous. Of course, Jon Stewart bitch slapped that sanctimonious, bloviating turd who has tried to be the judge of American values, Bill Bennett. It was so pretty to see, find it all on the Comedy Central web page. Whew, I've been so busy blog whoring myself, now I am doing it for Jon Stewart. Like he needs the help.

I am so out of it, too, in mainstream America, tomorrow is the start of a four day weekend. My schedule revolves around watching that bastard Italian team getting its collective rear kicked by Ukraine in the World Cup. I am pissed at the Italians for their drama in games which earned them a bogus penalty kick against a really good Aussie team. But once again, the story is the idiot referees. The two worst refs who have made imbeciles of themselves (actually that is every ref with a yellow card in his pocket) have been sent home. They didn't make the cut either. Good riddance. Can you go to Crawford TX and take Bush with you?

That reminds me, after all the law breaking Bush has been engaged in, it's about time for that ol' cowboy to take his annual month off. I wonder what he would do if he had a real job and was not just Cheney's ventriloquist dummy?

Scorpios are supposed to familiar with death. At least that is what I remember Risa telling me. I am sure I could be wrong, though.

Although, this week in particular, I feel surrounded like that death fog in the 10 Commandments. First the UCSC Chancellor, then a gay man activist from California, then my friend Luis Penelas in Miami. I have felt a great shift in the force.

This is part of the deal with having a Halloween birthday, having these intuitive massive feelings of unease. I felt it the first time I went to DC - right after the idiot in chief got elected - a massive pall of evil energy had descended on the district.

But maybe it could be because I wrestle with depression all the time.

I have been taking anti-depressants since 1994. There, I came out and said I am prone to depression. I take drugs for the depression. Sometimes I am so depressed I can feel it through my entire body into the core of the earth, a big black shadow like in the 10 Commandments. (Yeah why does that keep popping up?).

Obviously the Chancellor was depressed, suicidally depressed. Isn't it the supreme irony that the woman could be out about being a lesbian but not about her depression? Tipper Gore could talk about it. Betty Ford could talk about it. But the Chancellor couldn't talk about it and it cost her the life she had built for 45 years. Who knows how many others it will cost because of our silence?

Act Up was right. Silence=Death.

this and that

In many ways, today was a trivial day for me. Measured up against a suicide and the impact it is having on people who never met Denice Denton, everything else feels trivial. I get to watch the World Cup, deal with a dead car battery, walk the dogs on a beautiful summer night- the trivial components of my life.

There are many things going on at the national level. The flag burning amendment lost today in another monstrous waste of the government's time. Rush Limbaugh was detained at the airport yesterday for having little blue erection pills under his doctor's name, not his name. Now just the thought of Rush Limbaugh with viagra is the stuff of nightmares. Then there is the breathtaking lie that George Bush uttered yesterday saying that he has always said that global warming is a serious problem. I didn't know whether to crap or go blind over that one. No wonder DC is flooding, here comes the rapture baby!

Denice Denton

I didn't know Denice Denton.

I knew who she was (the Chancellor of the University of California, Santa Cruz), followed all the escandalo at UCSC and am completely horrified that she threw herself out the window of a 44 story building. She was 46 years old.

This can't be an obituary, obviously. I just wanted to write down some thoughts that would never go on the web page UC set up for condolences. As I looked at those writings today, I thought there was more to this woman's life than the dry remarks abouts "loss" wrtten by some PR hacks.

Here is what I know - she was an out lesbian, an outstanding women in the sciences, a graduate of MIT with multiple degrees and she lept from the apartment building where her girlfriend lived. Her mother was supposedly in the appartment when she jumped. Oh yes, it was Pride weekend in the City too.

So how's that for a fuck you?

Her girlfriend was in DC, according to the papers. Her mother said she was depressed over personal and professional issues. So why jump, why not just quit? If you hate your job and perhaps your job hates you, why stay? Why to all of this?

Why did the UC system fail this woman so completely, to the point of cruelty? Things had gone wrong for her since before she walked into her office - bad press, irritated residents in Santa Cruz, unhappy students. So why did UC continue to act like Sergeant Schultz "I see nothing." If they are doing to this to the people are the top of the food, what on earth are students getting? Alone? Isolated? Obviously in pain and very, very angry.

So fuck you, I'm jumping.

There is now a scar at that campus.

Who in the hell would want that job now, too. "Oh yeah, your predecessor killed herself but good luck, we know you'll do great. Just don't depend on us to help, even when it is our REALLY big mistake."

She lived in a house on campus. She asked for and received a huge remodel to this house. Things including a $30,000 dog run and a sub-zero refrigerator. She asked, they gave it. But in Santa Cruz and in the state, it didn't play well. Like it played really, really badly.

I remember reading this and thinking, "Good Lord, that certainly sounds extravagant." But she asked and, like the apparently indulgent parent that the UC system is, they gave it to her. But then when this all hit the press, the UC system abandoned her, left her hanging out with sub zero support. No PR people, no infrastructure support, nada.

And what about a very smart woman who has access to every medical avenue possible. What did Denice Denton do? Where were the colleagues, the girlfriends to talk to, have dinner with, the girls network? Did she not have one? What pain and isolation she must have lived with.

It is a long road from dean of an engineering school to the chancellor of a UC campus. Santa Cruz is a unique campus with very unique people going to school there. There are students living in the queer dorm, the Chicano dorm and whatever other specialized living situation they have up there. She was brought to campus to expand the sciences and engineering but trust me there are a lot of other types besides those science and engineering students on that campus.

She had no experience in land use politics and there was constant struggle. Now there is a ballot measure in Santa Cruz this year to stop the campus from expanding unless they pay for their share of the infrastructure expansion (little things like water and sewage). This is not how to play well with the neighbors.

Mental illness can be a fatal disease (I thank Sarahope for that gem).

Maybe if we stop being so judgmental of each other, take a breath before unleashing the criticism of someone in leadership (George Bush is the exception), and just accept that we all make mistakes we can get more done and shift our world just a teensie bit.

I have been unemployed for seven weeks now. I have had to make major adjustments in life, the worst of which is the struggle to get the meds I need. We have fucked up systems for people to grapple with just to take care of themselves. But this was a woman with access to every resource known to womankind. So why jump? Why not just quit the job?

Will we ever know?

This isn't just a tragedy, it is a big fucking tragedy. For the campus, for the community, for queers, for women, for the world. This woman was savaged by a fucked up system, her own demons and who knows what else.

All I know is that the woman had her own demons and the demons won. And now all those around her will have to live with those demons for the rest of their lives.

Who was Harry Bingham and why is he getting a stamp?

Just an interesting piece of evidence of the curious behavior of the Roosevelt administration toward the Jews during WWII -----

Secretary of State Colin Powell gave a posthumous award for "constructive dissent" to Hiram (or Harry) Bingham, IV. For over fifty years, the State Department resisted any attempt to
honor Bingham. For them he was an insubordinate member of the US diplomatic service, a dangerous maverick who was eventually demoted.

Now, after his death, he has been officially recognized as a hero.

Bingham came from an illustrious family. His father (on whom the fictional character Indiana Jones was based) was the archeologist who unearthed the Inca City of Machu Picchu, Peru, in 1911. Harry entered the US diplomatic service and, in 1939, was posted to
Marseilles, France, as American Vice-Consul.

The USA was then neutral and, not wishing to annoy Marshal Petain's puppet Vichy regime, President Roosevelt's government ordered its representatives in Marseilles not to grant visas to any Jews. Bingham found this policy immoral and, risking his career, did all in his power to undermine it.

In defiance of his bosses in Washington, he granted over 2,500 USA visas to Jewish and other refugees, including the artists Marc Chagall and Max Ernst and the family of the writer Thomas Mann. He also sheltered Jews in his Marseilles home, and obtained forged identity papers to help Jews in their dangerous journeys across Europe. He worked with the French underground to smuggle Jews out of France into Franco's Spain or across the Mediterranean and even contributed to their expenses out of his own pocket.

In 1941, Washington lost patience with him. He was sent to Argentina, where later he continued to annoy his superiors by reporting on the movements of Nazi war criminals.

Eventually, he was forced out of the American diplomatic service completely. Bingham died almost penniless in 1988. Little was known of his extraordinary activities until his son found some letters in his belongings after his death. He has now been honored by many groups and organizations including the United Nations and the State of Israel.

If you had a chance to make a difference like Harry Bingham would do it or run away?

Why? Why? Why?

So as I was driving around town today, listening to big Ed Schultz, he made a point that was profoundly important, I thought.

He was wondering why the R's, who have broken Iraq into at least three big pieces, point fingers at the Dems and say they don't have a plan. So why don't the R's have a plan since they broke Iraq? Why are they not held responsible in the Pottery Barn way of you broke it you bought it?

Why are the two men who were kidnapped not called POW's when they were missing? Isn't this a war? Weren't they prisoners of war?

Why are undocumented aliens "illegals"? Because they are not really people. Your dishes at restaurants are magically taken off your table when you leave.

Why are LGBT people called any numbers of names, including fag, queer, dyke. Oh wait, we use those words. But the answer is still the same, we are not really people. So girl, get your hair done somewhere else!

Why can't gay and lesbian people get married? See above.

Why can't we have a Dem leader who is ethical, moral, compassionate, smart and tells the truth all the time? Because we haven't demanded as much from our Dem leaders.

Why am I playing in a soccer torunament this weekend in one of the hottest parts of California and think that is fun? That's the only answer I don't have. But I will let you know on Monday.

And now for something totally different

Here's something new and different. Very Monty Python...

Homos are mentally unstable in the military.

From the Washington Post: A Pentagon document classifies homosexuality as a mental disorder, decades after mental health experts abandoned that position.

What next, frontal lobotomies? Shock therapy?

Oh no, careers and futures ruined for a start. Loss of talent during a war. Oh wait, this isn't a war but it is a war but it isn't a war but it is a war. In the end it is all a lie.

LGBT people are forced to live a lie for the liar in chief to be able to serve the country. And then if they tell the truth then they are mentally disordered. So liars are the good people and the ones who tell the truth are the bad people. In this country anyway, the liars are in power and the rest of are screwed. With no lube.

Promotion

This is my mom and my nephew, Ben. He didn't graduate from middle school on Friday, he was promoted to high school. Yeah baby, way to go!!!

The whole famn damily went out to eat to celebrate his promotion. It's fun trying to get all these Mexicans to one place at the same time and finding enough tables together. It helps speaking Spanish to the Latino staff, they are more than happy to help familia.

My partner and I picked him up from school the day before, embarrassing the crap out of him when we went to get him. We were waving a Mexican flag, honking the horn and yelling at him. I don't think I have seen him turn purple like that before.

This was a good reminder that I can make the nightmares of this administration go away for a few hours, have fun with my family and have hope for our future by teasing Ben mercilessly. If only every day was like this.

something better than pond scum

From my back yard, a sun showers hibiscus in full bloom. Much better to look at than Miss Pond Scum. Smarter, too.

My hair hurts

I am sitting here scratching my eyes.

Not my head, my eyes.

I can't believe what I am seeing...

An immoral war causing immoral behavior.

That's the face of this country, ver lovely indeed.

Makes me proud daily to see our values and morality reflected in that behavior. I think I saw better behavior on Dynasty between Crystal and Alexis when they slapped each other around and rolled into the swimming pool. Better dressed anyway and much better looking.

That woman

There has been a flurry (or is that furry) of media about a certain blonde conservative who is whining that she can't attack the Jersey Girls - some of the women who were widowed on 9/11. She has spewed so many names and lies that I am really surprised that her head has not done the proverbial 360 spin complete with pea soup.

I can't bring myself to say her name, oh wait, I know, it's pond scum.

So Miss Pond Scum ( I know she could never bring herself to call herself Ms.) what does this level of whoredome bring? A White House invitation. I have had two of those. Public ass kissing from your crowd? That's so gross, now I have to wash my brain out with soap.

Oh get to the point already...

This is one of the reasons that there has been a lapse in manners, civility and dialogue in this country. Can't disagree without name calling, can't listen to what others say and we certainly cannot have empathy for another human being.

So in light of our lack of ability to communicate through adult conversations let add my string...no, no, that was my Halloween side wanting to pop up. EEEERRRRGGGG, yah you suck, you couldn't talk your way out of a paper bag and make sense, you are an embarrassment to women and to this country, not mention your hair is bad.

AHHHH!

Riley and me

This is my little cousin Riley and me from tamale Sunday last December.

Who has a Moral Center?

This is an election year. All the House of Representatives are up for election as are some members of the Senate, including Senator Hillary Clinton.

I used to like Hillary.

I have a picture of the Senator and I after a meeting at the Senate. She was really smart, listened well and gave impressive feedback. I should be one of the people who strongly supports her.

However, I don't feel that way anymore.

Why? Because of the war. This war is immoral.

I only want to support politicians who show they have a moral center. Not the religious extremists moral center. But someone who claims to be progressive is actually progressive in their actions and votes.

Look at Russ Feingold. There he was screaming at Arlen Specter based on his beliefs. Screaming for civil rights for lgbt people.

I said in a speech last week that lgbt people are the most moral of all because we tell the truth about who we are. I am no longer giving money to a party or candidates who don;t support my equal rights. I urge you to do the same.

After all money talks. And walks.

Jumping In

How does one open a blog? Tell endless details about my personal life? Nah, too boring.

OK, maybe a little. I am a Latina Lesbian, living in San Jose, California with my partner of almost 16 years, 4 dogs, two cats and a guinea pig. I used to have a job but not now so I am going to try and spend my time blogging to stay out of trouble. That and gardening. I have become the Mexican gardener of the house. The yard looks fabulous.

I used to be on the Democratic National Committee but not any more. But I still follow politics daily. My friend, Carla Marinucci, writes for the San Francisco Chronicle and she quotes me from time to time as some sort of knowledgeable person. That's what friends from high school do for each other.

Anyway, off I go on this new adventure.